No Wonder I Keep Passing Out!

Girl in bathroom stall #1: I have really exciting news!
Girl in bathroom stall #2: You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: No. When I bought these pants they fit, and now they are too big! I've been trying to lose some weight.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's great! What size are they?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Ummm… 25s.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's like a size zero. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Oh, is that too small or something?

Restaurant Bathroom
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on February 16, 2016
Anorexics, Clothes, Clothing, Diet & weight, Girls, Massachusetts, Money, Questions, Restroom

Just Don't Let Me Come Home Without Them This Time

Hot girl #1: Have you decided what you're wearing tonight?
Hot girl #2: Pants.

Concord Pike
Wilminton, Delaware

Posted on February 14, 2016
Clothes, Default, Delaware, Girls, Questions, Undies

I Told You When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window

Father: So, any luck with finding a jacket?
Teenage daughter: No, but somebody tried to sell me drugs.
Father: Well, that’s something.

Victoria Market
Melbourne
Australia

Posted on February 7, 2016
Australia, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Dads, Drugs, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Shopping, Stores, Teens

But My Ass Got Hungry

Man #1, shouting: Are you wearing a thong? Dude, this dude's wearing a thong! Why are you wearing a thong?
Man #2: Well, it didn't start out that way.

Oberlin, Ohio

Posted on February 3, 2016
Clothes, Default, Guys, Ohio, Questions, Sexuality

I Really Should’ve Written a Shopping List

Wife to husband: There was something I was going to tell you, but it didn’t have anything to do with strap-ons or racism. Oh well, it’ll come to me.

Target
Murfreesboro, Tennessee

Posted on January 29, 2016
Clothes, Default, Memory lane, Tennessee, Women

Yeah, Stop Emailing Me Those Photos.

Drunk girl: Guess whose shirt I'm wearing!
Sober friend: Whose?
Drunk girl, without missing a beat: What?
(15 minutes later)
Drunk girl: I'm not even wearing a shirt!

Dorm Room
Wisconsin

Posted on January 27, 2016
Clothes, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Wisconsin

Now I Have a Little More Captain in Me Than Most People

30-something white lady: I just shove it down my pants. But it's not beer, it's Captain Morgan!

BART Escalator
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Hott Bi Luv

Posted on January 15, 2016
Clothes, Default, Drinking & drunks, Euphemisms, San Francisco, Train, Whiteys, Women

Sweetie, You're Not Even Wearing a Shirt Today.

Girl #1: For Halloween we should dress up as something we're not!
Girl #2: Then I'm going as a slut!
(other girls in the group stay silent and look awkward)
Girl #2: Bitches!

California

Posted on January 7, 2016
California, Clothes, Girls, Insults

What Prevented You?

Girl on phone: I got two pairs of pants, a shirt, and I almost bought a beaver.

Boone, North Carolina

Posted on January 3, 2016
Animals, Clothes, Girls, North Carolina, On the phone, Shopping

At Least They Own the Stereotype

Frat guy #1: So my mom bought me two new polos. One is blue with pink, and the other is orange and green. But I already have one that's orange and green.
Frat guy #2: Dude, I'll take it.
Frat guy #1: Nah, I think I'm gonna trade it to Duke for some pot.

Virginia Tech

Posted on December 28, 2015
Clothes, Clothing, Colleges & Universities, Drugs, Frat boy types, Gifts, Parenting, Virginia

Clothes