Girl #1, after hearing embarrassing story: Yeah, that reminds me of the time I got kicked out of the Vatican for being a whore.
Girl #2: Seriously? Kicked out?
Girl #1: It was my dad's fault, though. He told me I could wear my short skirt.
Thai Restaurant
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Nurse #1: How was your weekend?
Nurse #2: It was great, except Heather* got kind of wild. I mean I've never seen anyone be…first drink they're fine, second drink they're fine, third drink they're naked and pole dancing.
Nurse #1, shaking head: Wow.
Nurse #2: Yeah, it was probably a mistake to go drinking at the bar she used to work at.
Heather*: I don't remember any of it, but when I got home my bra was filled with twenties.
Albany General Hospital
Albany, Oregon
Dispatcher on police scanner: A subject was just robbed at gunpoint by a black male wearing no clothing.
Cop #1: Can we get a clothing description?
Cop #2, after silence: Just look for a naked man with a gun.
News Station
Jackson, Mississippi
Middle aged woman whispering to bald man at the bar: Put on a thong and meet me outside in five.
Irish Pub
Lafayette Hill, Pennsylvania
Man on cell: Behold, Beverly, my codpiece is enormous! Praise be to Jupiter!
Flagstaff, Arizona
Overheard by: Freezair
Gay man on cell in big crowd: Where are you? I'm wearing a gray sweater, a black jacket, and a faggy scarf. A really faggy fag scarf.
Nuit Blanche
Toronto
Canadia
Hipster on cell: And then she started talking about trouser gravy…
Mesa College
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Tish
Neighbor: The first guy that ever fingered me wore Drakkar Noir.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: sassy san franciscan
Man: And there were women dressed as men who looked like little Japanese girls playing video games!
Boston Pizza, Toronto
Canadia
Tall girl: Because you can still wear it under your clothes and be like, “Oh yeah, I have sexy underwear on and you'd only see it if I took my clothes off.”
Short girl: Or if you bend over, which I do a lot.
Woodstock, New York
