Professor: It’s like when you walk into a bathroom with a corpse in the tub and go, ‘Wow, just look at that tile pattern!’
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington
Professor: It’s like when you walk into a bathroom with a corpse in the tub and go, ‘Wow, just look at that tile pattern!’
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington
Professor: I found the same paper that you turned in as your term paper on the Internet, word for word. That’s plagiarizing!
Student: All right, I’ll tell you the truth — I didn’t have time to write the term paper, so I paid somebody else to do it for me. But honest, I didn’t know he’d plagiarize it!
College
New York
Overheard by: DizzyLizzy
Professor: So, the point of this lecture is never, ever buy a squirrel monkey. They will plot your demise and gouge your eyes out in your sleep.
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Chick: Oh my god, look at this baby! It is so ugly! I didn’t think babies were allowed to be ugly!
University of Denver
Denver, Colorado
20-ish guy: If I have a little girl, I want her to either have the highest moral standards or be ugly as shit.
McCool Hall, Mississippi State University
Mississippi
Drunk girl: I’m filled with the Holy Spirit… and booze!
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Professor: Children aren’t property — you can’t just throw them in a blender.
Philosophy class, University of New Hampshire
Durham, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Shadowsurfr1
Drunk chick: I wouldn’t have known I hooked up with anyone if I hadn’t found his swipe card in my bra on the floor… Should I send him an e-mail?
Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia
Chick: About a year ago I discovered that everything I learned at Harvard was actually through reading Wikipedia just before the exam.
Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.
Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California
