Guy: … So I was like, ‘Dude, just this time, you’re not allowed to suck your own dick,’ and he says,’Dude, I totally won’t.’ So I say to him, ‘Man, you’re doing it right now.’
University of British Columbia
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Guy: … So I was like, ‘Dude, just this time, you’re not allowed to suck your own dick,’ and he says,’Dude, I totally won’t.’ So I say to him, ‘Man, you’re doing it right now.’
University of British Columbia
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Incredulous girl: They wanted me to do jury duty. I told them I ain't no snitch!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/271746013/the-defendant-thanks-you.html
Overheard by: that doesn?t make sense.
Girl, after kissing boy: You taste like smoke.
Boy: You taste like testicles.
Las Vegas, Navada
Overheard by: ScaredTourist
Girl: Dude, she digs you, why don't you ask her out?
Guy: She's fat.
Girl: You are so fucking pretentious and shallow.
Guy: I'm okay with that. It means I only fuck hotties.
Girl: We fucked, does that mean you think I'm a hottie?
Guy: No, that just means I was drunk and you were willing.
Girl: Why am I friends with you?
Guy: I have no idea.
Denver, Colorado
Girl #1: He keeps calling me a slut whenever I see him, and I'm like “what the hell?”, you know?
Girl #2: You should say something back.
Girl #1: Yeah, but I don't know what.
Girl #2: Oh! Let me help you, I'm good with comebacks! You should say, “well, at least I… (long pause) …look like a cookie.”
High School Bathroom
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Meghan
40-something pant suit lady #1: I've been trying to cut back on my calories.
40-something pant suit lady #2: Well, you should try…
40-something pant suit lady #3, interrupting: You should try eating a lot of fruit.
40-something pant suit lady #1: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, my friend told me about…
40-something pant suit lady #2, interrupting: No one ever listens to me! You're always ignoring what I'm saying, and I have a lot of good things to say. (turns to 20-something male at next table) You would listen to me wouldn't you?
20-something male, looking annoyed: No.
Panera
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Guy in stall #1: Hi, how are you?
Guy in stall #2: Fine. Thanks.
Guy in stall #1: So what are you up to?
Guy in stall #2: Uh, the same as you.
Guy in stall #1: Can I come over?
Guy in stall #2: What the hell? I'm a little busy right now, freak!
Guy in stall #1: Listen, let me call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering my questions.
Restaurant Bathroom
Manhattan, New York
Upset girl to friend: Everything's not the way it should be, it's all wrong. I fail at life.
Friend: Oh, no, you don't fail at life! This is just one of those little things you will fix, along with other things you will fix, and in the end, you'll end up with a pile of little fixed things.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Overheard by: Julia