The Plastic Knives Tend to Hurt

Girl, crying or laughing: I just can't believe you love me; I have shown up on your doorstep so fucking wasted.
Guy: Baby, you found a plastic fork in your panties! It's okay! Anyway, it was not one of your better nights.
Girl: Actually, it was one of my better nights.

Mission District
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Judylicious

Posted on October 29, 2009
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Feelings, Girls, Guys, San Francisco, Weirdness

…And Bring Out the Visual Aids.

Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.

Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on October 27, 2009
California, Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Politics, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers, Violence, Wishes

Where Would Either Industry Be Without Silicone?

College girl: The way I see it, chemistry is just like prostitution.

Northern Michigan University

Overheard by: everyone gets screwed?

Posted on October 23, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Michigan, Science, Sex, Sorority types

But I Draw the Line at Moving to Seattle

White cube farmer to another: Chicks don't like dudes with umbrellas. They like wild and crazy guys who aren't afraid of getting their hair wet.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/305658355/actually-this-is-true.html

Overheard by: alexis

Posted on October 16, 2009
Advice, Compare and contrast, Gender issues, Hair, Overheard in Minneapolis, Stupidity, Whiteys

Bottom Line: It Tastes Like Shit.

Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: “Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!” Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes…
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!

New Jersey

Posted on October 13, 2009
Compare and contrast, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Questions, Relationships, Smokers, Smoking

…Under “Skills”.

Blonde: I have this theory that babies who were born late are like always late to stuff. And babies who were born early, like premature, are always early.
Friend: Really?
Blonde: Yeah, it's like, on my resume.

Brisbane
Australia