Lyle Thinks People Can Hear Him Over His Floor Buffer

Wal-Mart floor waxer: My grandma got bit twice on the leg. And they thought they were gonna have to amputate it. But then it magically healed.

Wal-Mart
Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on February 13, 2009
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Family ties, Malls, Ohio

At Least I've Stopped Singing the Score to The Mikado

Asian tranny, bowing to group of exiting patrons: Thank you, puh-rease come again!
Very femme male waiter, exasperated: Oh, shut up!

Restaurant
San Francisco, California

Posted on February 13, 2009
Asians, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Guys, Language barrier, Restaurants, San Francisco, Words

The Beginning Of This Season's Greatest Love Story

Bag lady: Any money you can spare for the homeless?
College girl: No, I'm sorry.
Bag lady: Well, fuck you, you sexy bitch!

Washington, DC

Overheard by:

Posted on February 11, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Insults, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Washington, DC, Women

Hence the Babies

Hispanic teenager with baby, yelling out of bus doors: You're an icy bitch!
Chinese woman, muttering loudly: Fucking immigrants.

Bus Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: another immigrant

Posted on February 10, 2009
Bus, Compare and contrast, Default, Foreigners, Girls, Illinois, Insults, Race, Women

That, My Friends, Is How Christianity Works

Ranting professor: Say you're on a date, and your waiter places a bag of saltine crackers in front of you.
(students are puzzled)
Ranting professor: So, you're happy to have these crackers. But your date says to you: “Don't you see the filet mignon or the lobster?” But you can't see them! So you eat the crackers, and then you die. Then I go to your funeral.

Moorpark College
Moorpark, California

Overheard by: Amanduh

Posted on February 9, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Food, Happiness, Teachers

The Main Problem Is the Language Barrier

Young man: I love living in Honolulu, but everything's so expensive. I can barely afford just to live. It's actually pretty common to buy milk for eight dollars a gallon!
20-something girl: Wow! Really? What's the exchange rate there?
Young man (looking rather baffled): It's about one to one.
20-something girl: Oh, well, that's not too bad.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Brian