Compare and contrast

Professor: If you walk into a dark room, you're not going to just step on a cat laying in the middle of the floor.

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: Brittany

H&M worker: Hi, how are you?
Customer: Great, thanks, and you?
H&M worker: I'm okay.
Customer: Only okay? You're listening to a Journey remix in H&M! These are great times!

H&M
Toronto
Canadia

Ditzy college girl: Everyone burps, everyone farts, everyone poops, and it feels fucking amazing.

Lynchburg College
Lynchburg, Virginia

Prof: Let's get down to the meat and bolts of it.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvaia

Female student to friend in pub: Maybe you've fallen into the “big-nose trap” as well…

University of Portsmouth
England

Overheard by: Charlotte

20-something JAP to nerdy date: I love rushing. In my sorority, like, for every girl who rushes, the girls, like, have to discuss the girl's pros and cons, and like, for every con there has to be a pro, so like if you say, like, the girl is a total retard, you have to say something pro, like, she has opposable thumbs.
Nerdy date: When I was rushing they would give me a hot dog bun, but there was something in it that was not a hot dog.
20-something JAP: Oh that reminds me, like, I'll sleep at your house tonight, but like, it's just gonna be sleeping, not like, sex or anything, you know, because, like, I have to get to know a person a lot better than I, like, know you before I do something like that.
Nerdy date: Oh absolutely. I mean, when I mentioned sleeping over before, I just meant, you know, sleeping. I didn't mean anything more than that.

Sarah Silverman Concert
Atlantic City, New Jersey

Blond girl: I thought jesus invented sex.

Bar
Perth
Australia

Overheard by: jimbo

Game watcher: Well, this is where the Bears turn it on. When the tough get going the going gets tough. (pregnant silence) Well, I guess it's the other way around. I suppose it works either way, right?

Christina's Place
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Shrek

Girl walking through park to friend: Oh my god, look! Those people are having sex on that bench over there! That's gross. (pause) Wait, that's my roommate! (yelling) Hi, Sarah!
(girl having sex on bench waves)

Australia

Elderly man: Human beings are rats.
Uncomfortable young man: Are you sure about that? Rats seem more…furry.
Elderly man: Human beings are furless rats.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Listening, speechless.