Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
20-something hipster to friend: So…I'm officially out of corpses.
Friend: Dude!
Portland, Maine
Guy #1: So, where can we get another guy like Brian to drink a lot of water?
Guy #2: Well, Phyllis is out of work.
Guy #1: Who's Phyllis?
Guy #2: She's this really good PR girl. Like a rotten tomato.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sunny
Dad, seeing his little girl spit in a soda bottle: This is disgusting, nobody will want to drink from it now.
Little girl: I know, that's why I did it.
Dad: That's not nice. Smart, but not nice.
Pumpkin Farm
Half Moon Bay, California
[Line for ladies’ room]Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It’s urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh…[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Guy, about his job: Right now, we are working on a line where you can make a customized branded dildo to fit your needs.
Woman who just told everyone she is pregnant: That's fantastic!
City Vino Restaurant
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: entertained witness
Taxi cab driver: She ain't big, but she ain't little, you know. (pause) Broke that bottle over Anna head, but she mean well.
Sierra Vista, Arizona
Overheard by: K
Jackie O. lookalike: If I can’t sneak cigarettes into my house, what makes you think I can get an ax?
Starfest Sci-fi Convention
Denver, Colorado
Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?
Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Deathly Confused
Student: I have that song “Ring My Bell” in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It's not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don't know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song “In the Navy.”
Advisor #2: That's not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Disco Dan
