Wildly bearded hobo riding rusty bicycle and wearing only one shoe and parachute pants: Why, hello miss. Would you be interested in entering into a mutually beneficial body massage arrangement?
Surprised, redheaded woman: Uhhhhh, not today, thank you.
Hobo: I'll try back later.
Queen West
Toronto
Canadia
White tourist: I’m really sorry — I don’t have any change. If I did, I’d give you some, but I don’t, so… sorry. Good luck with everything…
Black dude: Cracka, I’m ain’t homeless!
Hynes Convention Center subway stop
Boston, Massachusetts
Drunk girl to drunk friend: Unless you live in my vagina, you wouldn't know!
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Random Bar Guy
Girl one: Smell my face. Smell right here. Doesn’t it smell great? The stripper I got a lap dance from was wearing great perfume.
Girl two: It smells like pickles.
Toby Keith’s Restaurant
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: At least it doesn’t smell like tuna
Student librarian on cell: Hey…who is this? Bill from architecture? Well, yeah, I remember writing my name on your arm, but I like don't remember why.
Music Library, Catholic University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: So much for quiet in the library…
Woman in crowded gas-station restroom: "yep, it's like three butts in a two-butt kitchen."
Sheridan, WY
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Happy teacher: Welcome to creative writing class. This class is like us taking a hot bath. Together. With candles.
Harpeth Hall School
Nashville, Tennessee
Angry suit: When is this plane going to take off? I have a very important meeting to get to!
Flight attendant: The incoming plane is delayed, sir, there's nothing we can do at the moment.
Angry suit: Well, are you going to make arrangements for me to get on another flight? This is urgent! Do you know who I am?
Flight attendant (over loudspeaker): Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, there is a gentleman at the desk who does not know who he is. If anyone has any information about his identity, please come forward.
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Hipster girl to guy: I got lucky. All I had to do was make out with him. (motions to other hipster girl standing beside them) She had to suck him off!
Atlanta, Georgia
Guy: In the washing machine, and the birds just keep opening their mouths because they're stupid, so they keep getting bigger…
Los Angeles, California
