Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!
Gas Station
Waco, Texas
Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!
Gas Station
Waco, Texas
Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it’s still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don’t see any; I don’t have any spit.
Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Uses spit for lube
Little boy, grabbing his crotch and jumping up and down: Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!
Target
New Jersey
Overheard by: Jo
Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.
Bar
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Projection1234
Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.
Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan
Overheard by: Scott
Man at bus stop: So I'm standing there at the counter, sorting time cards, doing my job, and the secretary looks up and says, “okay, I don't care that you do it, and it doesn't bother me personally, but the custodian says he's tired of cleaning up twenty dead rats every day.” And all I can say is, “well, what else am I supposed to do?”
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Tsunoba
Girl: You should meet his dad! He's like Don Quixote in a Kafka story.
Guy: Who's father they were talking about…you know…but with a tv.
Sabiá bar, Vila Madalena
Sao Paulo, Brazil
(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it’s April 1st) Haha… His consumption smells like raspberries.
Colorado University, Boulder
Overheard by: In the back of the classroom
Guy on cell: You know you're the only person who calls this number. You have to stop!
St. Catharines
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meg
20-something guy, about his sushi: This takes me back to when I used to live in Japan.
Brunette: When did you ever live there?
20-something guy: No, I mean in my past life.
Brunette: What makes you think you were Japanese?
20-something guy: Because ever since I was little I have always loved seafood.
Brunette: … Maybe you were a fish.
20-something guy: Not cool.
Sushi restaurant
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Wallflower
