Not 'Til You Learn to Ask for Directions, Sweetie.

Obese girl, looking at pink dress: Aww muuuum, why can't I be a girrrl?

Sunshine Plaza
Maroochydore
Australia

Overheard by: Sally

Posted on November 27, 2019
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The Secular Equivalent

Enthusiastic elderly Southern woman: There was BBs flying all through the winders, I was so upset I cried. I wasn't going to church at that time, but I went to Wal-Mart.

McDonald's
Richmond, Kentucky

Overheard by: Akilah

Posted on November 23, 2019
Christianity, Default, Kentucky, McDonald's, Memory lane, Old folks, Women

…About the DVD Release Of Happy Feet

Man: My nipples are exploding with excitement!

Back Bay Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Me too

Posted on November 22, 2019
Default, Feelings, Guys, Massachusetts, Nipples, Public transportation, Weirdness

Rachel Found Her Work with Amputees Extremely Rewarding

Chatty girl on commuter train: It'll be a good day as long as no one kicks me.

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on November 21, 2019
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If That's True, How Come There's Never Been a Real World There?

Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we're going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality…I mean, Cleveland.

Plane over Cleveland, Ohio

Posted on November 15, 2019
Airports & flights, Default, Flight attendants, Ohio, Public transportation, US Geography, Words

Seriously, Just Kill Us Now

Pre-cal teacher to apathetic senior students: Now we're getting into the fun stuff–exponential growth of fruit flies!

Prattville, Alabama

Overheard by: Lindsey

Posted on November 14, 2019
Alabama, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Fruit, Teachers, Weirdness

I’m Safer Here Where Everybody Hates Me

Girl on cell: Nooo… I’m not sure I should go to Florida. That could lead to sex.

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Posted on November 13, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Default, Geography, Girls, New York, On the phone, Sex

Translation: I’m About to Start Crying

Jock #1: Dude, that bitch broke my heart.
Jock #2, eating a burrito: I know, man. You were always so unhappy, and I wanted to, like, slap you around and make you happy.
Jock #1, singing softly and staring blankly at the ground: I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you…
Jock #2: Look, man, we boys, aight? But when you start singing cheesy-ass love songs to a chick that cheated on you, gave you an STD, and shit on top of your car because she’s crazier than a fucking monkey on crack with a banana up its ass, something’s wrong with you, and maybe we shouldn’t hang out anymore.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on November 11, 2019
Advice, Default, Jocks, Relationships, Washington

Or You Will Just As Soon As We Stop by That Playground

Four-year-old boy: Mom, can we get a puppy?
Mom: You don't need a puppy, you have a little brother.
Four-year-old boy: Yay!

Carlsbad, California

Overheard by: californiabeaner

Posted on November 10, 2019
Advice, Animals, California, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

And Then There's the Peeing in My Closet

Sit-ups guy to older dude: Oh, hey there, Bob.
Older dude: You know, every time I see you I think of my dog.
Sit-ups guy: Oh? Why's that?
Older dude: I keep trying to get him to kneel. (walks away)

Z-Center, MIT
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: MaybeHisNameIsNeal

Posted on November 10, 2019
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Massachusetts, Questions, Students

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