Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren't Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren't we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill's her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren't related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tyler
Effeminate tourist guy on cell: So yeah, it was rigidly pressed in the watershed…
Cottage Street
Bar Harbor, Maine
Man on cell to friend after arguing with crazy lady in the station: And her feet were nasty, lookin' like Harriet Tubman.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyson
Girl standing at the bar: I train armadillos to race horses around banks.
Killarney's
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation…
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
Hungover conference attendee: Ugh, it's early.
Appalled conference attendee, scooting chair away: You smell like a dead hooker covered in alcoholic bum piss. And avocado.
Conference Center
Las Vegas, Nevada
Guy at party: You know, if I tell you it's 'cause I tell you, if not…why would I tell you?
Leon
Mexico
Overheard by: Oscar
Drunk girl #1: I’m Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I’m Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
Guy to friend: And then she said, “I am not even half the man she used to be.”
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Well, she WAS born in Germany
Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I'm not a sugar-daddy, am I?
Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California
