When He Was Little, She'd Carry Him in One of Her Haversacks

Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn't know you and grandma were so…ahem…close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly

Posted on July 28, 2015
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Dads, Default, Family ties, Siblings, Virginia, Words

Clint Eastwood: “One More Step and I'll Blow You Full Of Carbs, Punk.”

Professor: Paper, noodles, and gunpowder. All Chinese contributions to Western European society. What you need is a paper-noodle-gun. You know, a paper gun that *boom!* shoots noodles at people.
Student: Wet or dry noodles?
Professor: Well, it depends on whether you want to stab them in the eye with spaghetti or just lash them severely.

Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: JQ

Posted on July 28, 2015
Default

“Throw Your Brother Into the Campfire,” It Says

Little girl to mom: My stomach controls me!

Campsite, California

Posted on July 28, 2015
Body parts, Default, Fears, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Weirdness

And You Know Who My Uncle Is, Right?

Girl to friend: Okay, I'll start reeeal simple… you know what sodomy is, right?

Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: Grace

Posted on July 28, 2015
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Strangely Less Inappropriate

Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!

Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon

Posted on July 28, 2015
Assholes, Body parts, Default, Etiquette, Hands, Malls, Oregon, Siblings

If Our Disastrous Trip to Thailand Was Any Indication

Frizzy-haired college girl: Are you seriously asking me to to sell myself so you can hitchhike to Sicily?
Friend #1: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Friend #2: Yeah. Like first of all, no one in Italy would want to pay for you.

UC Davis
Davis, California

Overheard by: Passing Student

Posted on July 28, 2015
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Geography, Girls, Money, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types

Anyone Else Picturing Kate Hudson As Girl #1?

Girl #1: I thought you didn't date losers!
Girl #2: I don't! It's not a date. (pause) Well… we are not dating.
Girl #1: Where are you guys going?
Girl #2: I'm not going to tell you… Cuz you're going to show up.

Starbucks
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Sbux stalker

Posted on July 27, 2015
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I Even Got Extra Time on My SATs for It.

Cop, helping hobo into jacket inside store: You are not drunk enough to be acting like this. People are going to think you are just mean.
Hobo: I *am* mean!

Sugarhood Smiths
Sugarhood, Utah