Seven-year-old girl with speech impediment: I told everyone in class I was going to the Kentucky Derby.
Mother: Did people know what the Derby was?
Seven-year-old girl: Alicia didn't! She was like “what is the Derby?” but everyone else in the class knew!
Mother: Well, that is because she is from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire.
Mother: She's from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire?…I told her I was sorry she was adopted.
Southwest Flight above Chicago, Illinois
Drunk guy #1, finishing rant: Plastic trees do not produce oxygen!
Drunk guy #2, retorting: They do if you eat them!
Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania
Lipstick lesbian #1: If we move into a house, we’re going to have to get some new stuff…
Lipstick lesbian #2: Wait… How did the pilgrims cut their grass?
Lipstick lesbian #1: Um, I think they had cows.
Fox and Hound
Indianapolis, Indiana
Dejected neighbor: Yeah, I know. I’m more suited to kill werewolves than produce orgasms.
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: j
Woman to male friend: I am trying to figure out how long 14 minutes and 6 minutes is in total.
Male friend: 20 minutes.
Woman: Regular math and time math are the same?
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/09/numbers.html
Overheard by: benja
Young black guy #1: You gonna see her again?
Young black guy #2: Hell yeah. That bitch could suck the woodgrain out of a hardwood floor.
Hempstead, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Lady on cell pumping gas): Y'know, even when he picked up the knife, I just didn't expect the cops to get involved…
Shell Gas Station
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Just filling my tank, thanks
Really tall hippie to really short girl in overalls: If that's what you think, then why can't I rape dead people?
El Campesino
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Louise H
Teen girl #1: Hey, you know the chubby girl in chorus, right?
Teen girl #2: Elizabeth?
Teen girl #1: No, I’m talking about the whale.
(teen girl #1 makes elephant noises)
Teen girl #2: The one that laughs like a jackal?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, her!
Teen girl #2: Oh my god, I love her.
Teen girl #1: Me too! She’s great…
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Drama Eavesdropper
Drunken girl #1: Ah, that tubby boy kissed me.
Drunken girl #2: Doesn't matter, just remember the rule.
Drunken girl #1: “We don't share”?
Drunken girl #2: No, the other rule.
Drunken girl #1: “Your dress can be as short as you like, as long as you're wearing stockings”?
Drunken girl #2: No. The “if you don't remember it, it didn't happen” rule.
Drunken girl #1: Oh, I'm forgetting it now, then.
Sydney
Australia
