Little old lady: Are you here to poop? That’s what I just did. Everybody poops. It feels great! Such a relief!
Preschool girl: Yeah!
Girl’s mom: Come on, honey… What have I told you about talking to crazy strangers?
Bathroom, Target
Novi, Michigan
Little old lady: Are you here to poop? That’s what I just did. Everybody poops. It feels great! Such a relief!
Preschool girl: Yeah!
Girl’s mom: Come on, honey… What have I told you about talking to crazy strangers?
Bathroom, Target
Novi, Michigan
Sad suit: I got my blackberry wet last night, and now it randomly calls rabbi Goldstein.
Los Angeles, California
Girl on cell: You're my mother, not a pawn shop!
Berkeley, California
High school prepster: You can't give that baby magic mushrooms, she's only like a second old!
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: sound advice
20-something girl: Like, he's such a nice guy…I don't even suck in my gut when we're lying next to each other in bed anymore.
Friend: Aww…that's true love.
Yorkville
Toronto
Canadia
Girl: What about her? She’s cute.
Guy: Yeah… but her boobs are small.
Girl: What’s wrong with small boobs anyway?
Guy: They’re… not… big.
Restaurant, Oregon
Biology professor: Hey, didn’t they discover that process in corals?
Grad student: No, they discovered that in plants.
Biology professor: That’s what I just said!
Grad student: But coral is not a plant.
Biology professor: What? Yes, it is!
Grad student: No, it’s not, it’s an animal!
Biology professor: Since when?
Grad student: Since always — go look it up!
Biology professor, after disappearing for five minutes: Fucking Wikipedia…
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: How’d you get this job, anyway?
Cashier on cell phone: I mean… What’s the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?
Shoprite
New Jersey
Overheard by: allison
Angry teacher: This is a fire drill, not a get-naked drill!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: J-face
