Tipsy girl to friend on phone: Who are you talking to?
Friend, suspiciously: No one!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your drinking?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your vagina?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Good, cause I don't know how I would do that.
Drunken guy from end of the bar: I can do it!
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: three_eyed_fish
Girl on line: Guess what! I watched a video about Jews on YouTube today!
Girl next to her, embarrassed: Shhhh!
Bear's Den, Washington University
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Scandalized
Woman to thug in fur coat: Now, I don't even know your real name or your birth certificate name.
Thug in fur coat, puzzled: Most black people don't know each other's real names!
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: EmGusk
20-something to mother: She's really cute on the rare occasions when she has a tennis ball in her mouth.
Supermarket
Caroline Springs, Victoria
Australia
Professor: You have a special relationship with Aristotle.
Dramatic Lit Class, Ithaca College
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Wish I did
Instructor: I may have to open my kimono and give him access to my jewels. (entire class chuckles)
College Lecture
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Mandi
Guy: We're cool now.
Girl: What?
Guy: I said we're cool now.
Girl: Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I smiled at you instead of slitting my throat.
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Girl: If you loved me, you wouldn't pressure me to do that!
Boy: Honey, I promise it isn't that weird!
University of Virginia
Overheard by: beth
Math professor, after reading from textbook: I just lost all interest in life.
Portland, Oregon
Professor to girl walking into class with a large box: Wow, you have such a big package! (entire class starts laughing) I am so getting fired today.
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: miao miao
