Bus driver: Folks, this just in from the weather service, I just thought I'd pass it along to you all. Don't let all these clouds fool you, there's a high heat warning in effect for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, gumdrops, and…snow cones, so if you have any of those items, you'd better keep them inside. That's all.
Bus #17
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: The Redhead
Young man: I love living in Honolulu, but everything's so expensive. I can barely afford just to live. It's actually pretty common to buy milk for eight dollars a gallon!
20-something girl: Wow! Really? What's the exchange rate there?
Young man (looking rather baffled): It's about one to one.
20-something girl: Oh, well, that's not too bad.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Brian
Thug #1: So then we went down to that school, and Steve threw some rocks at the retarded kids.
Thug #2: Wait, didn't you do that last week?
Thug #1: Yeah, that's Steve's new thing.
Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: JChill
Agitated smoker on phone: I'm going to jail tomorrow! I just wanted to spend one night with you! What do you mean you can't be bothered?
Newcastle
Australia
Overheard by: Isabel
Girl #1: So how much older is this guy exactly?
Girl #2: Only like 9 years. He's 37. But I mean, I really like him, and he has chickens.
Auburn, Alabama
Woman to husband, facing large sign saying “Carolina Mall”: Can we get to the mall from here?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Customer looking up at menu board: Umm, I'll have the “German chock a lotta cock.”
(girl scooping ice cream looks horrified)
Customer, now pointing: The “German chock a lotta cock.” It's right there.
Ice cream girl: It's pronounced “German chocolate cake.”
Cold Stone Creamery
Fountain Valley, California
Overheard by: RL
Tween: God, I've had such a terrible day. First I was in a wreck, and then I saw a homeless woman–and you know how I am about homeless people.
Petro Express
Charlotte, North Carolina
Butch-looking 20-something: I always have Bud Select, and I know it makes me look so butch.
Femme-looking 20-something: No, I don't think Bud Select is butch…I mean, I drink Bud Select.
Butch-looking 20-something: Yeah, but seriously, I know I look like a lesbian, and the Bud Select doesn't help.
Iowa
Overheard by: I assumed they were on a date
Girl #1: So really Edward doesn't like anal?
Girl #2: Yeah, he doesn't even like anal.
Girl #1: Did you just ask him? Or did that just come up?
Girl #2: You know what? I don't even remember…I was drunk. I must've asked.
Petco Park
San Diego, California
