Teen goth boy #1: Dude! That girl is so hot.
Teen goth boy #2: I know!I would so totally pee in her butthole.
Oak Park Mall, Kansas
Woman #1: You know what I learned the other day? Social Darwinism.
(awkward pause)
Woman #2: Really? How's that working for you?
Woman #1: Well, it sure explains a lot.
Library, Arcadia University
Glenside, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Xander
Bag lady: Any money you can spare for the homeless?
College girl: No, I'm sorry.
Bag lady: Well, fuck you, you sexy bitch!
Washington, DC
Overheard by:
Student girl: And then these tramps started wanking off outside my window!
Manchester Aquatics Centre
England
Overheard by: Noo
Skinny punk teen girl: Oh, I love lime rickeys. But my favorite drink–when I'm not pregnant–is a rum rickey.
Franklin Fountain
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: office peon
Hispanic teenager with baby, yelling out of bus doors: You're an icy bitch!
Chinese woman, muttering loudly: Fucking immigrants.
Bus Station
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: another immigrant
Slightly drunk friend: I hate Valentine's Day!
Slightly drunker friend: Me too. Anyway, so here's what I'm going to do: I'm just going to convince myself that I'm in love with him. That way, when he breaks my heart, I'll drop 20 pounds.
Volta Taverna
Oxford, Mississippi
Overheard by: that's the only diet i know…
Punk dude: I have the ability to decide who deserves a soul.
Manitou Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Nathan Brauner
Ranting professor: Say you're on a date, and your waiter places a bag of saltine crackers in front of you.
(students are puzzled)
Ranting professor: So, you're happy to have these crackers. But your date says to you: “Don't you see the filet mignon or the lobster?” But you can't see them! So you eat the crackers, and then you die. Then I go to your funeral.
Moorpark College
Moorpark, California
Overheard by: Amanduh
