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Girl taking picture of friends: Why aren't you smiling? You should be smiling.
Asian friend: I'm Asian. When I smile my eyes disappear.

New Jersey

Overheard by: Katie

Lady who lunches: And it wasn't a massage. It was an experience.

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Ladle

Vagrant #1: Where you living?
Vagrant #2: Habitat for humanity. But they're trying to kick me out 'cause I don't wanna build a house for someone. (… Long pause …). Fuck that shit!

Downtown Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: BG

Dad, seeing his little girl spit in a soda bottle: This is disgusting, nobody will want to drink from it now.
Little girl: I know, that's why I did it.
Dad: That's not nice. Smart, but not nice.

Pumpkin Farm
Half Moon Bay, California

Jewish princess #1: Oh my gaaawd, he's so gay!
Jewish princess #2: What? I thought he was hot!

Johannesburg
South Africa

Guy #1: Yeah, me and that guy have had a total communication breakdown…like, he was talking to me about tin foil! I dunno.
Guy #2, after a pause: Yeah, we should get some lottery tickets.

Exeter
England

Girl to boyfriend: Why'd you go and tell all the guys on the fifth floor that I have some crazy fetish with lubricating foods?
Guy: I didn't say anything!
Girl: Well, they were talking about the Nutella.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Laura G.

Kenny Chesney Never Mentioned That

Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shotboy

Teenage ghetto boy: That'd be great, man, if everyone died … They'd be gone, and we could take all their cars!

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: monkey