Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
British lit professor, on gays: I have honestly never seen it rain on a gay person. Never. Not once in my life.
Georgia State Lit Class
Female math teacher: It's not just in the movies. When a girl says “we need to talk,” you might want to break up first.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Professor, on checking email: It's the first thing I do before I wake up.
Colorado Christian University
Overheard by: graduate
Girl on cell: I can't tell if I'm losing weight from softball or gaining weight from being hungry all the time.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Queer to friend: It's pretentious, it's stupid, it sucks, and I love it.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: keeeem
Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it's dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.
University of Kentucky
Overheard by: Emmatastic
Girl wearing cleats: What would you do if I cleated you in the vagina?
Friend: Why would you do that?
Girl wearing cleats: No, really, like what if I cleated you right in the labia?
Baltimore, Maryland
Guy #1: What are those, zucchini?
Guy #2, with sandwich: No, they're cucumbers.
Girl: Oh please, they're like the same thing.
Guy #2: No, they're totally different. Not every phallic-shaped green vegetable is the same thing.
Girl (pauses): Why does everything have to be about penises with you?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: i just came here to clean the air ducts
