Default

So Basically All Your Problems Are in Your Head?

Girl on cell: My life totally sucks right now. I went to an intellectual conference and people were saying smart things and I was asking myself, ‘Why can?t I say things like that?!’ And I?ve forgotten all essay-writing skills I learned in high school! Ugh, I am, like, totally ESL right now. Like, what am I doing with my life?! I’m not getting into law school, I’m not going to get a position at the UN… Ugh! I might as well get married to a rich Arabian prince!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/11/who-will-then-promptly-have-me-executed-for-tarnishing-the-uns-reputation-by-instigating-the-oil-for-weed-program-3/

Overheard by:

But Does Your Hand Need to Be in My Pants?

Clerk greeting incoming customer: How you doing?
Customer: I'm loving you, baby, that's why I'm here…

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/456547950/you-can-love-me-from-afar.html

Overheard by: I love this store, always an adventure

  • Default

Nice Try– No Homosexual Calls Himself “Homosexual”

Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.

Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi

Freud's Children Were His Primary Inspiration

Dad walking towards hotel lounge: Where are your hands?
Young daughter: Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Dad: That's right! Somewhere they shouldn't be!

Austria

Years of Training with the Cast of The Lion King

Guy #1: When he gets excited, that kid laughs like a hyena.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know.
Guy #1, trying to mimic the laugh but failing: I don't know how he does it.

New Jersey

I Like My Cats the Way I Like My Men.

Girl #1: I looove cats now.
Girl #2, making face: Really?
Girl #3: You don't like cats
Girl #2: Well, I do… but only if they're fat or mean.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/11/fat-cat.html

Overheard by: lauren

  • Default

Especially If I'm Saying, “Faster…Harder…God…Ohhh”

Black guy to friends: I swear, every time I start talking to a girl she gets pregnant. (pause) Fo' real.

Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: You must have been doing more than talking

And Then We'll Hold This Nice Man Up.

Father with two small sons dressed in Halloween costumes, walking into liquor store: Okay, guys, now pick out the kind of whiskey you want and go put it up on the counter.

Oshkosh, Wisconsin

Sounds Like a Good Rule

Girl to friend: And then this guy, I can't remember his name, he was like “hey, you want some cake?” But I've read his blog and he believes in creationism, so I was like “no, thanks.”

Christchurch
New Zealand

We Fear You Lack the Brainpower to Be an Effective Stripper

Teacher, explaining sign up sheet: So, where it says “What are your plans?” You need to just put something like “Doctor,” “lawyer,” etc.
Blonde in back, whispering to girl next to her: Girl, I'm putting down “stripper,” then all of my classes will be in the humanities building!

College Orientation
Washington State Community College

© 2026 OverheardEverywhere.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist