Professor: When I was learning about Emily Dickinson in high school, I wasn't really paying attention. I was just wondering what she looked like without her clothes on.
Missouri
Professor: This assignment is worth 20 points, but doing it can only earn you up to 18. The only way to get the last two points is to dress up.
Exasperated student: As what?!
Eastern Michigan University
Little boy to tour bus driver: Thank you.
Bus driver: Now that's a sign of good parenting.
Parent, as he steps off bus: Yeah. We're takin' him on a whiskey tour.
Jack Daniels Distillery
Lynchburg, Tennessee
Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually “poop,” but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.
Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Greeg
Girl (looking at her graded essay): My professor said, “good use of comma.” What on earth does that mean?
Guy: I don't know… We do go to Suffolk. Maybe he was just impressed that you knew how to use a comma correctly.
Suffolk University
Boston, Massachusetts
Professor flipping rapidly between Powerpoint slides: Take notes now, suckers!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: a fan of this professor
Professor on cell: And two students speak at the same time, completely disagreeing with each other. So I just shout “fight!”
University of Oregon
Penn student #1, looking at sculpture: Oh my god, I, like, totally hate art.
Penn student #2: I know, right? They should just buy us all laptops instead.
Locust Walk
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Prof: I tend to walk around, so the students at the back of the class are just as likely to get fingered for a question as the ones at the front.
University of Guelph
Canadia
Overheard by: scared student
