Professor: I’m just waiting for a chlorine radical to come and bite me up the ass.
Morraine Valley Community College
Palos Hills, Illinois
Overheard by: Kati
English professor, going over punctuation: We can fix this sentence by putting a comma here… and here… and here. See? Comma, comma, comma. [Breaks into song.] Comma-comma-comma-comma-comma chameleeeooon!
Community College
Palm Bay, Florida
Professor: Like, for example, my wife loves Everybody Loves Raymond. I think it's…well, I think it's the death of all art.
Catholic University of America
Washington, DC
Guy at party: What are you studying in that class?
Psychology grad student: We're learning how to administer and score intelligence tests.
Girl at party: I don't believe in intelligence.
Fort Collins, Colorado
Tutor: Wikipedia is not homework!
University of Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kiri
Professor: This assignment is worth 20 points, but doing it can only earn you up to 18. The only way to get the last two points is to dress up.
Exasperated student: As what?!
Eastern Michigan University
Little boy to tour bus driver: Thank you.
Bus driver: Now that's a sign of good parenting.
Parent, as he steps off bus: Yeah. We're takin' him on a whiskey tour.
Jack Daniels Distillery
Lynchburg, Tennessee
Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually “poop,” but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.
Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Greeg
Girl (looking at her graded essay): My professor said, “good use of comma.” What on earth does that mean?
Guy: I don't know… We do go to Suffolk. Maybe he was just impressed that you knew how to use a comma correctly.
Suffolk University
Boston, Massachusetts
