Employees

Coffee shop employee: Sir, are you a cop?
Customer: No. Why do you ask?
Coffee shop employee looking at badge on customer’s shirt: I saw your thingy.
Customer, looking down at his fly: What?!

Covington, Louisiana

Librarian at info desk: How are you today?
Gloomy guy: Not very well.
Librarian: Why not?
Guy: Oh, my girlfriend's being mean to me… Are you single?
Librarian, unfazed: No, I'm married.

West Lafayette, Indiana

Overheard by: Rachel S.

Motorist at detour: What do you mean I have to go around? I can't go around! What's going on?
Frustrated firefighter: Fire Department activity sir.
Motorist: What kind of Fire Department activity?
Frustrated firefighter: Arts and crafts, sir. Move along.

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: Pokey

Middle aged female client: You aren't going to find out the sex? How are you going to know what color to paint the nursery or what kind of baby clothes to get?
Pregnant 30-something hair stylist: Oh, please, like it matters what colors I choose. People aren't going to be wondering if it's a girl or a boy, anyway; they're going to wonder if it's an animal or a baby.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/366035301/dear-penthouse.html

Overheard by: jenc17

Cashier: Sorry, your credit card has been declineded.
Woman: Declineded?
Cashier: Um… Yes, the credit card people declineded it. Like, ya know, it's been denieded.

South Florida

Plumber, rubbing his fingers together: Hmmm. No, no, it’s not water. It’s something much, much worse.

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: TK

Cashier #1: He's definitely overcompensating for something.
Cashier #2: I do not know what that word means.
Cashier #3: “Compensate?” You don't know what that means?
Cashier #2: “Compensate?” Penetrate–I know what *that* is.

Filene's Basement
Washington, DC

Flamboyantly gay guy in teeny Speedo, looking at bride in hotel lobby: Ummmm… Is there a wedding here?
Front desk agent, also looking at bride: Yup.
Gay guy, disgusted: God, I feel so silly in my Speedo.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: proud to be… an idiot?

Suit: So yeah, I found out how my boss's boss takes his tea, and I took him a cup this morning, along with a muffin.
Non-suit: And did you remember to take a napkin to wipe his feces from your nose?

London
England

Overheard by: Eastender

Waiter: Does anyone have a green Firebird?
20-something lesbian: I do, why?
Waiter: It's on fire in the parking lot!
(20-something lesbian and girlfriend go outside and return ten minutes later)
Waitress: Is everything okay?
20-something lesbian, matter of factly: Yeah, my car just caught fire. Can we have another plate?
Girlfriend, unaffected: Also, she ordered tempura.

Sushi Garden
Tucson, Arizona