Evil

Kid-faced guy in suit on cell: Yeah, and then those malicious evildoers told me I shouldn't be there. (pause) They were the minions of the Antichrist. (pause) I'm serious, dammit!

King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Carrie

60-something man: I don't want to be with my first wife for an eternity! She is Satan's sister.

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Fluffy

Girl #1, excitedly: Okay, this is where I leave you. I know you're going to forget all about this conversation when I go, but…
Girl #2, interrupting: No, no, I won't–I'm going home right now to google “demons” and “possession.”
Girl #1, walking away: Right, good. We're going to make this happen!
Girl #2, heading in opposite direction: Even if everyone else thinks we're crazy!
Girl #1, vehemently, from across the street: It's all down to us, now! We'll exorcise that demon if it's the last thing we do!

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Only if I can watch…

20-something girl: Those deviled eggs totally messed me up… Emotionally.

Manhattan, New York

Professor, on Dante's version of the devil: This is not like one of those vampire things that are good-looking and want to suck your blood, and that makes you happy.

University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania

Social worker talking to hobo: What can I get for you, sir?
Hobo: How about a 9 mm semi-automatic gun?
Social worker: Well, I can't do that, but do you need bus tickets? Where are you going?
Hobo: Hell.
Social worker: Okay, I'll get those bus tickets then.
Hobo: Your hair's much nicer than mine.

Hospital
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: yooo

Guy: That's an unfortunate-looking girl.
Girl: She has Down syndrome.
Guy: I'm going to hell.

University of Florida

Overheard by: Nick

Man with thick accent on cell: The problem is that their religion is their life. They are diabolically opposed. (long pause) Yes. I think it is time for another crusades.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Bus preacher: Prime time bingo is the key to hell.

Kingston
Jamaica

Little girl: I don't want ice cream, daddy. Know why, daddy? (in a demonic voice) Because it's evil!

Grinnell, Iowa

Overheard by: Jake