Little girl, waiting for a ride home from school: What is my mother doing that's more important than me?
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse
Little girl, waiting for a ride home from school: What is my mother doing that's more important than me?
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse
Chick: I was in your area during lunch and thought about asking you to meet me for a quickie.
Dude: What the fuck? And you didn't, because…?
Chick: I had to drive some coworkers back to the city. Wasn't sure what to do with them while we copulated.
Dude: Do what my parents did, sit them down in front of the tv, turn on Sesame Street and turn it up!
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
Chick on cell: Did I tell you I sent my dominatrix pilot to my father and he writes back, “so how did you do the research? It's all very accurate.”
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Amerigo Vespucci
Little boy: Mommy, if a turtle has no shell is it naked or homeless?
Mother: It would be dead, sweetheart.
Little boy: That's sad, mommy.
Mother: No, it isn't, dear. Come on, this is our stop.
Metro
Washington, DC
Young mother, in baby-talk: Aren't you excited to meet grandma and grandpa at the park? Do you think they're sad and lonely there waiting for us?
Toddler son: Noooo, they're drinking.
Mother, still in baby-talk: You think they're drinking?
St Charles Streetcar
New Orleans, Louisiana
Sociology professor: The world is fundamentally the same as 100 years or so. Fathers back then were worried about their daughters listening to the radio. Now, they worry about them “sexting” on their BlackBerrys!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Who is sexting?
Furry man to girlfriend, loudly: So does your sister, like, *never* shave her legs?
Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Blond on cell: She doesn't call us in six months and when she does, the first call is to tell us that her boyfriend is dead on some motel floor, and the second call is that her mom is dead on the sofa!
Houston, Texas
Old woman to young stranger: Is that your mother?
Young woman: No, bitch. That's my bitch.
Old woman to friend: Kids have way too many bitches these days.
Union Station
Washington, DC
Son, yelling from back of bus: Mom, what color is Jewish?
Mother: (sinks lower into her seat, pretends not to hear)
Son, yelling again: Well…is it white? Is it tan?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Freda