Lady #1: My husband and I are going to Vegas tomorrow for four days. Our only trip without the kids. I am ticked because today I got my period.
Lady #2: Oh, what a pain in the ass.
Lady #1: Ahhhh?!
Hamburg, Michigan
Lady #1: My husband and I are going to Vegas tomorrow for four days. Our only trip without the kids. I am ticked because today I got my period.
Lady #2: Oh, what a pain in the ass.
Lady #1: Ahhhh?!
Hamburg, Michigan
Bus-riding teen #1: Fully grown adult males are, like, five inches! I'm telling you!
Bus-riding teen #2: No way! Tom is, like, ten inches when it's hard and, like, eight when it's soft!
Bus-riding teen #1: Do you want me to get my dad and check?
Toronto
Canadia
Girl to guy she just met: My mom found out I had been having anal sex. She kept repeating “that's an exit, not an entrance.” I told her how much fun it was, and that she should try it.
University of Oregon
Woman to friend: I just want a sibling. I don't care if they're into sex.
Marrickville
Australia
Overheard by: Jaclyn
Dad balancing bird toy on middle finger, to seven-year-old son: This is dad's magic finger. He uses it when driving.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/223374.html
Cute girl: This lotion is great! I actually have it on now, and keep smelling myself!
Teen boy, dragged in by his mother: Really? Can I smell you?
Cute girl: Sure! Smell me!
Teen boy: Wow, you do smell great! Mom, smell her!
Soap Store
New York City, New York
Chick: I just don't want to sing about suckers with the step family!
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E.
Enthusiastic two-year-old boy: Mommy, my bottom just burped!
Illinois
Overheard by: martha
Loud fat man on bus: When I first found out I had diabetes, I had my wife go out and buy me a big case of pudding cups. I opened each one up and poured them into a tub with some milk.
Friend: Oh?
Loud fat man on bus: My mother-in-law didn't believe I could eat it, but I sat down in front of her and drank the whole thing, just to spite her.
Portland, Oregon
Girl #1: Okay, so my sister was watching Pokemon the other day, and asked me a question about it, and I don't know what to tell her.
Girl #2: Well, what is it?
Girl #1: She was wondering, since there are no animals in the show, like cows or anything, if when they ate meat they were eating Pokemon.
Girl #2: Don't tell her the truth, it'll break her nerdy little heart.
Utah
