Father on phone to wife: No, it was at dinner, and then this drunk at the next table made a comment about our son. No. He said Josh looked like “a retarded page from the dark ages.” That's not funny. (long pause) I'll schedule him for a haircut tomorrow.
Pennsylvania
Small child: Hey, dad, can we take the quarters out of the fountain?
Father: Not now. That's what we do after dark, when we put our ski masks on.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465751887/bring-your-kid-to-work-day.html
Overheard by: rappeling from the ceiling for spare change.
Male thug #1: So, am I the dad?
Male thug #2: You and all? Who else have you fucked?
Male thug #1: I know she fucked Tommy as well.
Girl thuggete: He never fucked me, he only fingered me.
Hospital
Newcastle
England
Overheard by: Judge Mental
Woman on cell: You know, Corey, when I get a call at work saying my son has been stabbed, I expect it to be more than just a puncture wound. Don't waste my time with that shit.
Florence, Kentucky
Overheard by: Jesus Freak
Soccer mom to group of children: Okay, who's dead?
Several of the children, excitedly: I'm dead! I'm dead!
Outisde Trinity Rep
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
Four-year-old girl: What about Steven?!
Six-year-old girl: He's my new boyfriend, and I told his sister that I love him but she didn't tell him. But he's my boyfriend and he doesn't know it.
Pennsylvania
Slightly effeminate black man on cell: Uh-uh, child. If you're pregnant, that ain't my child. You got to talk to my brother.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/411942930/he-said-to-talk-to-you.html
Overheard by: Ian
Guy on cell: The trial's today… Um… No…for the last time mom was in jail.
16th Street
Denver, Colorado
Single mom to four-year-old son: Will you just stop being a cupcake and go ask him?
Four-year-old (sighing, then approaching a man nearby): Excuse me? Do you think my mom is pretty?
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Taylor
