Wise eight-year-old boy to brother: Getting a girlfriend is the easy part. But you have to know how to keep them.
Attentive six-year-old: How do you get them to stay?
Wise eight-year-old: You have to find out what kind of food they like to eat. And give them a plastic unicorn.
Nature Park
Tampa, Florida
Mid-20s girl: So, I’ve been a vegetarian for about six years now and I’m trying to phase out all animal products.
Mid-40s woman: Oh, I could never be a vegetarian, I’d die. I like my potatoes too much.
Mid-20s girl: Umm… Potatoes are vegetables.
Mid-40s woman: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I mean like peas and stuff.
Kokomo, Indiana
Overheard by: Justin
Girl: Mom, you have to buy me a book.
Mom: I just bought you beef jerky!
Escondido, California
Overheard by: Ciara & Eric
Girl #1: He keeps calling me a slut whenever I see him, and I'm like “what the hell?”, you know?
Girl #2: You should say something back.
Girl #1: Yeah, but I don't know what.
Girl #2: Oh! Let me help you, I'm good with comebacks! You should say, “well, at least I… (long pause) …look like a cookie.”
High School Bathroom
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Meghan
Dude on cell: Oh my god… I had the pork chop. It was like it was cut right off of Jesus’s left rib.
Orlando, Florida
Student girl: Aw man, I’ve no food in the house. It’s like I’ve been robbed, but it’s my fault!
Sainsbury’s
Lancaster
England
Guy: So Stacy comes in and finds me screaming in the shower.
Friend: Wow!
Guy: Yeah, there are some places you should just never touch after cutting Habanero peppers.
Men's Room
Garrison, New York
Overheard by: mark
(odd club music plays in the background)
Student #1: Chef, what are we listening to?
Chef instructor: Just some flippy-trippy sausage making music! It's acid jazz.
Student #2, grinding variety meats: I'm so not on the right drugs for this.
Culinary School
Austin, Texas
