This'll Continue Until You Whack the Sides Of Their Heads

Woman: Olivia likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman: Olivia.
Older woman: What about 'er?
Woman: She likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman (exasperated): Olivia!

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: I also like beans

Posted on March 3, 2009
Default, Food, Names, Old folks, Questions, Virginia, Women

We Smoke It Over the Smoldering Corpses Of Our Enemies

Guy giving out samples: Free sausage! Try some local sausage for free! Made right here in Seattle, no preservatives!
(people walk right past stand without looking)
Guy, in same tone of voice: I will figure out where you live and burn down your houses! Free sausage! Try a sample!

Pike Place Market
Seattle, Washington

Posted on March 3, 2009
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Default, Employees, Food, Geography, Guys, Stores, Threats, Washington

Also the Difference Between the Middle Class and Everybody Else

Student: Hey there! How was your Thanksgiving?
Dining hall worker: Meh, I was pretty indifferent. At least I didn't get arrested.
Student: Oh…that's a good way to look at things.

Gonzaga University
Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: its something to be thankful for

Posted on March 2, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Food, Questions, Students, Washington, Weirdness

Who Says Kids Today Have No Goals?

Student #1: So you're only taking three credit hours this semester?
Student #2: Yeah. I figure as long as I take at least one class, I can live at home and mooch off of my mother indefinitely.
Student #1: You dreamed it, saw it and are going for it. Awesome, dude.

UCF
Orlando, Florida

Posted on February 23, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Florida, Food, Questions, Students

Given the Way I Kept Shouting “Whore!” at Her

Girl on cell: Yeah, he was there, and he brought the girl he cheated on me with. (long pause) It made the family dinner a little awkward.

Michigan State University

Posted on February 22, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Michigan, Weirdness

You Can't Handle a Cookie!

Teacher scolding student: Do you want a cookie? Do you want a cookie? No, you don't deserve a cookie!

Canadia

Posted on February 16, 2009
Canadia, Default, Food, Offers and requests, Questions, Teachers

That, My Friends, Is How Christianity Works

Ranting professor: Say you're on a date, and your waiter places a bag of saltine crackers in front of you.
(students are puzzled)
Ranting professor: So, you're happy to have these crackers. But your date says to you: “Don't you see the filet mignon or the lobster?” But you can't see them! So you eat the crackers, and then you die. Then I go to your funeral.

Moorpark College
Moorpark, California

Overheard by: Amanduh

Posted on February 9, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Food, Happiness, Teachers

Your Editors' Gumdrop Field Tests Have Been Inconclusive

Bus driver: Folks, this just in from the weather service, I just thought I'd pass it along to you all. Don't let all these clouds fool you, there's a high heat warning in effect for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, gumdrops, and…snow cones, so if you have any of those items, you'd better keep them inside. That's all.

Bus #17
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: The Redhead