Let's Milk This Country for All It's Worth!

Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!

Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California

Posted on March 14, 2009
California, Default, Food, Foreigners, Geography, Guys, Offers and requests, Tourist attractions

How Close to the Burger Should We Bring the Cheese?

Middle aged woman: Can I get a cheeseburger, without the cheese?

Burger King
Dansville, New York

Posted on March 14, 2009
Default, Food, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness, Women

I Think I've Seen This Movie…

Teen #1: I stuck my ass in her face and she choked on her broccoli.
(dog coughs)
Teen #2: Your ass is making everyone choke!

Harrison, Michigan

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on March 12, 2009
Ass, Body parts, Default, Food, Michigan, Teens, Weirdness

I Don't Judge– As Long As She Tips

Waiter: Table for three?
Middle aged woman: No, four. I know we look like three but…
Waiter: No, I get it. Imaginary friend.

Tasty Thai
Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Posted on March 4, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Offers and requests, Oregon, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness, Women

This'll Continue Until You Whack the Sides Of Their Heads

Woman: Olivia likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman: Olivia.
Older woman: What about 'er?
Woman: She likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman (exasperated): Olivia!

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: I also like beans

Posted on March 3, 2009
Default, Food, Names, Old folks, Questions, Virginia, Women

We Smoke It Over the Smoldering Corpses Of Our Enemies

Guy giving out samples: Free sausage! Try some local sausage for free! Made right here in Seattle, no preservatives!
(people walk right past stand without looking)
Guy, in same tone of voice: I will figure out where you live and burn down your houses! Free sausage! Try a sample!

Pike Place Market
Seattle, Washington

Posted on March 3, 2009
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Default, Employees, Food, Geography, Guys, Stores, Threats, Washington

Also the Difference Between the Middle Class and Everybody Else

Student: Hey there! How was your Thanksgiving?
Dining hall worker: Meh, I was pretty indifferent. At least I didn't get arrested.
Student: Oh…that's a good way to look at things.

Gonzaga University
Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: its something to be thankful for

Posted on March 2, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Food, Questions, Students, Washington, Weirdness

Who Says Kids Today Have No Goals?

Student #1: So you're only taking three credit hours this semester?
Student #2: Yeah. I figure as long as I take at least one class, I can live at home and mooch off of my mother indefinitely.
Student #1: You dreamed it, saw it and are going for it. Awesome, dude.

UCF
Orlando, Florida

Posted on February 23, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Florida, Food, Questions, Students

Given the Way I Kept Shouting “Whore!” at Her

Girl on cell: Yeah, he was there, and he brought the girl he cheated on me with. (long pause) It made the family dinner a little awkward.

Michigan State University

Posted on February 22, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Michigan, Weirdness

You Can't Handle a Cookie!

Teacher scolding student: Do you want a cookie? Do you want a cookie? No, you don't deserve a cookie!

Canadia

Posted on February 16, 2009
Canadia, Default, Food, Offers and requests, Questions, Teachers

Food