Soccer mom: I'm sorry, but if I were your neighbor, I would not share an opossum with you!
Nail Salon
Cumming, Georgia
Older woman: … And then she told me that I was too small for my breasts.
Younger man: I think she said, ‘Too small for your dress.’
Older woman: … Either way, it was totally inappropriate.
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/06/potato-potato.html
Four-year-old: Mommy, are you having a breakdown? [Bored mother ignores child.] Mommy, I’m having a breakdown!
National Gallery
Edinburgh
Scotland
History prof: Benjamin Harrison was a pretty boring guy, with all the personality of a statue…I’m sure he couldn’t even…
[Class snickers.]History prof: Oh god, you fricken teenagers, you drag everything into the gutter!
Colorado University
Boulder, Colorado
Blonde to bartender, about explicit music video on TV: Will you turn that off?! It’s offensive! [To friend] I am way too fucking Christian for that shit!
Scruffy Murphy’s Pub
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: bystander that was enjoying the video
Man to friend: I don’t know which is worse, the fact that she wanted a present for Valentine’s Day and I didn’t get her one, or the fact that I didn’t want a present for my birthday and she got me one.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/hes_a_keeper.html
Overheard by: you really don’t know?
Man: At least Canadian homosexuals take it up the ass.
Bar
New Jersey
