50-something guy #1: My new girlfriend is twenty years younger than me.
50-something guy #2: You going to marry her?
50-something guy #1: No. I had that talk with her at the very beginning.
50-something guy #2: You got any nude photos of her on your phone?
Health Club Locker Room
Shawnee Mission, Kansas
Grandmother: I think the cat is pregnant with one kitten or something.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, and the kitten is like, controlling her from the inside.
Spokane, Washington
Woman: Definitely. I had both feet in the door, but now it's just one foot in the door.
Man: I hate doors.
Bangkok
Thailand
Overheard by: Adair
Dude: Let’s go sleep in the meatloaf.
Starbucks
California
Guy #1: Oh my god! You look good! You’ve never looked so good!
Girl: Um… I don’t know how to take that.
Guy #1: I just mean that you look so much better than I’ve ever seen.
Girl: You’re making this worse.
Guy #1: Don’t worry. I’m not hitting on you.
Guy #2: Stop talking, dude.
Beromünster
Switzerland
Dude: It's not racial profiling, because every black person breaks the law.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Guy to date: And then, after work, he sorts out men's erectile dysfunction.
Greek Restaurant
London
England
Overheard by: Sam Veale
Man in tracksuit to friends: That fucking Rembrandt's a cunt!
Chester
England
20-something girl: I am so bad with directions. I can't find my way around anywhere.
20-something guy: That's because you're a woman.
20-something girl: Way to be sexist! (long pause) But yeah, you're probably right.
Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Guy on cell: Yeah, so I was seeing this girl, and she called me and said, “so I think I might be pregnant,” and I said “oh shit, really?” and then she just said, “yeah, but if I am I'll just put that fucker up for adoption.”
Escondido, California
