Guys

Guy on phone: No I'll never join the navy. (pause) Because me joining the navy would be like Hitler joining the Jewish church!

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Kapti

Attractive girl: Lesbians aren't there for your entertainment.
Young guy: Well, gays aren't there to be your shopping assistants, yet somehow you seem to have pulled that off. I figure we can do the same thing, except instead of shopping, it's sex.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: veryinterestedin this plan

Clueless dude on tiny bike: So… What are you?
Cute racially ambiguous girl: What am I? Like what race am I?
Dude: Uh, yeah.
Girl: What kind of question is that?! Is that how you talk to girls? I'm an alien, okay? I'm from Mars!

Boston, Massachusetts

Dude #1, seeing sign reading “cum laude”: Look at that sign: cum load!
Dude #2: I was just going to say that!

Mol
Belgium

Girl #1: Corey's* got a treatment scheduled for Monday.
Girl #2: What's wrong with him?
Guy: Nothing.
Girl #1: He's got cancer.
Guy: He's fine. People get cancer all the time.

Nicholls State University
Thibodaux, Louisiana

Serious gentleman: The historical figure from recent history that I most respect? I'd have to say… Gandhi.
Cute young woman: Gandhi? I think I've seen some of his work…

Dinner Party
London
England

Guy: I'm not exactly awake yet. Hence the espresso. (holds up cup)
Girl: Oh, you should pour it all over yourself!
Guy: I think that would be contrary to waking up.
Girl: No, no. You'd absorb the caffeine into your skin, and you'd become Awake Man! And your arch-nemesis would be the Sandman, and… and… stuff.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey

Guy: I'm so horny, I want a blowjob so bad…
Girl: You're not gonna cry again this time, are you?

The Poconos
Pennsylvania

Guy #1: Hey, did you ever watch Paris Hilton's sex tape?
Guy #2: Yeah, it wasn't a turn-on though, she's in pain. Man, I couldn't wank to that.
Guy #1: Yeah, it'd be like wanking to a rape video.
Guy #3: I'd wank to that.

Glasgow
Scotland

Guy on cell: Or maybe Mohammad is just less photogenic than Jesus.

Hyde Park
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Anya