And Stop Pulling the Pork!

(five-year-old boy is slapping and punching packages of beef and pork)
Father: Josh! Stop slapping the meat.
Bystander: (laughs out loud)
Father (hissing): No! Not that!

Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: TK

Posted on April 27, 2021
Bartenders, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Kids, Offers and requests, Words

Naturally, It’s Huge

Young mom, looking disgusted at a paparazzi photo of Pamela Anderson: That’s disgusting.
Four-year-old son: What?
Young mom: Honey, what’s wrong with this picture?
Four-year-old son: I can see her penis.

Bowling Alley
Indiana

Overheard by: Aunt Oblivious

Posted on April 23, 2021
About celebrities, Feelings, Gossip, Guys, Indiana, Kids, Moms, Penis, Sensory experiences, Sexuality, Weirdness

Until Woodsy Owl Wreaked a Terrible Vengeance

Six-year-old: My dad took me to this music festival. It was just a bunch of guys in the woods banging drums and making litter.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/and.html

Overheard by: litter machine

Posted on April 20, 2021
Gossip, Kids, Overheard in Minneapolis

I Guess I Never Really Thought of Simba in Those Terms

Girl #1: Even when I was a little kid I knew it was Christian propaganda. I was like, “Hey, this lion is Jesus!”
Girl #2: That was great, say it again.
Girl #1: This lion is Jesus!

AMC Century City

Posted on April 19, 2021
California, Compare and contrast, Friends, Girls, Jesus, Kids, Movies, Offers and requests, Words

The Kid Used to Yell “Boink Me, Daddy!”

Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!

Airport
Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on April 18, 2021
Airports & flights, Arizona, Dads, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Lies, Offers and requests

And Never Underestimate Their Surgical Dexterity

Pilot #1: He flew to Myrtle Beach to meet some girl he met online. We were expecting to find him naked in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.
Flight attendant: Who would want his kidney? He's so short!
Pilot #2: Hey, kids need kidneys too! Little kids!

Atlanta, Georgia