Kids

Four-year-old boy: Mom, can we get a puppy?
Mom: You don't need a puppy, you have a little brother.
Four-year-old boy: Yay!

Carlsbad, California

Overheard by: californiabeaner

Woman to five-year-old daughter in elevator: You're getting off at the wrong floor, sweetie. This is the wrong floor… The wrong floor… The wrong floor! God, do you ever listen to me?
Five-year-old daughter: I'm trying not to.

Mackinac Island, Michigan

Overheard by: laughing

Little boy, in sing-song: I believe I can fly! I believe I can… die!
Sales clerk: That's the sad version.

JC Penney
Columbia, Missouri

Little kid #1: No, Daddy would never swear!
Little kid #2: Yeah, he does — when he drinks!

Dairy Queen
Roseau, Minnesota

Overheard by: jo

6th grade student: Miss Smith, I've decided that I'm gonna to end my reign of terror.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Very pregnant woman surrounded by misbehaving children: Pregnancy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more complete when I'm pregnant. Knowing that I'm growing this life…
Young woman behind her in line, interrupting: Madam? You are a walking advertisement for mandatory birth control.

Starbucks
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: The guy applauding her

Nine-year-old to his little sister: I have to get my grandma her milk. I have to go all the way out to the West Side, and I’m low on gas. You need to hurry your ass up!

University and East 9th
Des Moines, Iowa

Mom to eight-year-old son: Do you want pizza tonight?
Son: No! I can't eat that, I just got pregnant!

Naperville, Illinois

Fast-walking emo kid: There is no slowing down when it comes to me and High School Musical.

Wal-Mart
Roanoke, Virginia

Overheard by: snarky writer

Sobbing child: It’s not fair! That’s mine!
Little bully: So what? Don’t cry about it. You’re being so dumb.
Sobbing child: I’m upset! It’s okay for me to cry sometimes!

Preschool
Santa Barbara, California