Kids

Preschooler left alone in stroller, singing, to 20-something girl walking by: Cha, cha, cha…you're charming!
20-something, on cell: I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I've heard.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!

Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina

Overheard by: Bryan

Little boy: Dad, what’s a “brer” rabbit?
Father: A rabbit with a lot of brer in it.

Magic Kingdom
Disney World, Florida

Overheard by: Natalie

Old lady hooked up to portable oxygen machine: I need a cigarette!
Grandkids: Grandma, nooo!

Restaurant
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: martha

18-year-old guy to friend: If I liked kids, I would be celebrating mass at a Catholic church.

Mexico City
Mexico

Overheard by: Kafnut

9-year-old boy, biking: Yo, what kind of flowers are they?
13-year-old brother, also biking: They be poppies an' calla-lilies an' peonies an' oleanders an' hydrangeas an' shit.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Phanatic

Skinny white kid: Who doesn’t love black chicks with fat asses?

Political Theory class, University of Southern California
Los Angeles, California

Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I'd also prefer it if you stayed at your mom's all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.

Subway
Vienna
Austria

Trashy mom trying to get toddler to leave an animal exhibit: Get over here or I’ll whop your butt!
(five seconds later) And give me back my lighter!

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Jenster

Teen girl #1: You know, I wish we had some sort of pregnancy switch that we can turn on and off at will. That way, when we have one night stands, we can just turn 'em off, and, voila! No baby!
Teen girl #2: We do. They're called diagrams.
Teen girl #3: You mean “diaphragms.”
Teen girl #2: Whatever.

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Leila