Language barrier

Drunk boy, about text message: That doesn't say anything.
Drunk girl: Yes, it does. It says, “hey, what's up?”
Drunk boy: No, it doesn't.
Drunk girl to sober girl: Does this say, “hey, what's up?”
Sober girl: No. It says, “al aloof ah.”

Brantford
Ontario
Canadia

Worker #1: So he told me to put my zapatos on!
Worker #2: Zapatos? What the fuck is that?
Worker #1: Apparently it's Spanish for “shoes.” I mean, how pretentious!
Worker #3: What is it with Americans? Like 99% of Americans speak Spanish. It's not like they're anywhere near Spain!
Worker #2: Hang on, why weren't you wearing any shoes?

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Not-American

Russian professor: Grammarlicious definition makes them “gringo locos.” (pause) Now that you've all been permanently scarred…

Arizona State University

Woman: Ireland was amazing!
Man: Do they have accents there?
Woman: Yes.
Man: Like British accents?
Woman: Like Irish accents.
Man: They have those?

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Little girl on playground: Ow! Ow! Ow! Doesn't this word mean anything to you?

Colorado Springs, Colorado

13-year-old preppy white girl: It be sneakah time, ya'll!

Deptford Mall
Deptford, New Jersey

Husband, reading aloud from newspaper: Honey, did you know that women use an average of 30,000 words a day, while men only use 15,000?
Wife: That's probably because we have repeat everything to men.
Husband: What?

Australia

Overheard by: Mikyla

Finnish lady: They waited years to diagnose him so now of course he's got a lot of luggage.
American lady: Wait, don't you mean baggage?
Finnish lady: Luggage?
American lady: Baggage.
Finnish lady: Baggage, luggage.
Brazilian man, totally bewildered: Suitcases?

West Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Sprightly

Angry British guy on phone: My name's 'arry. No! 'arry! 'arry! Dammit, no! 'arry, like 'arry Potter! Thank you.
Girl nearby: You just made my life a little better.

Arizona

Overheard by: Meg:)

Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia