Maryland

Then We'll Rebuild the Engine in My Chevy

Girl #1, excitedly: Okay, this is where I leave you. I know you're going to forget all about this conversation when I go, but…
Girl #2, interrupting: No, no, I won't–I'm going home right now to google “demons” and “possession.”
Girl #1, walking away: Right, good. We're going to make this happen!
Girl #2, heading in opposite direction: Even if everyone else thinks we're crazy!
Girl #1, vehemently, from across the street: It's all down to us, now! We'll exorcise that demon if it's the last thing we do!

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Only if I can watch…

The Stroke Was His Own Idea

Woman on street: The only bad thing I've ever said to Michael is that he should go and die of a heart attack.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Lauren

…So Most Of You Got That Wrong on the Midterm.

Psychology professor at all-women college: Personality disorders are the people you end up married to.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Sabrina

Clustered Around the Mayonnaise and Wonder Bread

Aunt: Jared*, put the toy back. We are going to go over to K-Mart, because they have a better selection.
Four-year-old: I don't want to go to K-Mart, auntie! There's too many white people over there!

Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: His (embarassed) Mother

I Thought That Was Only Possible in Thailand?

Professor: Here, let me make you some flesh. You know, you can buy flesh in the school store!

Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Painting with Mr. Lector

…And She Raised Them As Her Own.

Staff man: Yeah, she was freaking out. But the mouse had some babies before it passed…

Warped Tour
Columbia, Maryland

You're So Full Of Shit, Jason

Jock: Our soccer team's like the colon–it's probably there for a reason but no one knows what it is.
Friend: That's the appendix.

Westminster, Maryland

Why Do You Go to Church?

Girl to friend: It's like someone touches your cunt and you get all happy.

Easton, Maryland

Your Editors All Have Bulletproof Alibis

High school girl: There was way too much drama in sixth grade. All my friends were always talking about how their boyfriends knocked someone up. I'm like, “you're twelve years old! Get over it!”

Greenbelt, Maryland

And Let's Hope to God It's Perez Hilton

(little girl is spinning and singing in grocery store line)
Dad, very calmly: Honey… Next time the gypsies come to town, they're leaving with an extra person.

Severna Park, Maryland

© 2026 OverheardEverywhere.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist