Nerdy frat boy #1: You know what we should do? Just go buy a video game, sit down, and fucking beat it.
Nerdy frat boy #2: Yeah!
Sorority girl, guffawing: Why would you buy a video game to jack off?!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Charlie G.
Nerdy frat boy #1: You know what we should do? Just go buy a video game, sit down, and fucking beat it.
Nerdy frat boy #2: Yeah!
Sorority girl, guffawing: Why would you buy a video game to jack off?!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Charlie G.
Chick #1: A woman came up to me and said there was a guy beating off into the dress.
Chick #2: Really?!
Chick #1: Sure enough, I walked over and his pants were around his ankles.
Guy passerby: Where the hell do you work?
Omaha, Nebraska
Guy: So, I tore my ACL.
Over-enthusiastic friend: Tell ’em how you did it!
Guy: Masturbating!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Victoria
Frat boy #1: I already jacked off three times today!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That’s what I’m going to do as soon as I finish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bathroom now… [He leaves the room.]
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html
Overheard by: Maxwell
30-something Catholic to girlfriend: I think I'm giving up masturbation for lent. (long pause) I think I might just give up masturbation.
Norman, Oklahoma
Girl hottie: Do they give out medals for chronic female masturbators? Because if so… (points to self with thumbs) Super star. I'm talking gold medal, national treasure.
Guy hottie: You're not deterring me! We're getting turkey bacon!
Wegmans
New York
Overheard by: Bronze Medalist
Boy to father about girlfriend standing right next to him: She decorated her panties and tried to show them to me.
Father, laughing loudly at glaring people: Sorry.
Arlington National Cemetary
Arlington, Virginia
Guy #1: Hey, did you ever watch Paris Hilton's sex tape?
Guy #2: Yeah, it wasn't a turn-on though, she's in pain. Man, I couldn't wank to that.
Guy #1: Yeah, it'd be like wanking to a rape video.
Guy #3: I'd wank to that.
Glasgow
Scotland
Culinary student #1: I could really go for some duck stuffed with foie.
Culinary student #2: And lard? And berries? (pause) I'll masturbate to that tonight. I hate you!
Culinary student #1, defensively: I live with you, I know your poultry!
Stockholm
Sweden
Student to teacher who just made a mistake finger-spelling on board: Finger!
Teacher, erasing board: If I had a nickel every time someone said that to me.
Hampden, Maine
