Crazy homeless dude: One time this guy called the cops and said I was waiving a scalpel above my head. They put me in an institution for 72 hours. I kept trying to explain to them why I had the scalpel, and they just kept telling me I wasn't a doctor.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Brooke
Guy to date: She cheated on me, so I dumped her. Then I cheated on her and two weeks later we were back together.
Freehold, New Jersey
20-something girl (stocking groceries): Oh! I remember when my mom used to make it for me. It was delicious. She made it while I was pregnant… I'd eat it and every morning I'd throw it all back up. It was still delicious coming back up!
Norwalk, California
Overheard by: who wishes he hadn't heard it while grocery shopping
Guy: Remember “sweaty boobs”?
Girl: What?
Guy: Remember he broke up with her because she had sweaty boobs!
Porter Exchange
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dave
Hungover guy: Man, I got so fucked up last night. The last thing I remember was walking into the bathroom. And then this morning I woke up to the sound of someone yelling “Who the fuck are you?” So, naturally, I responded with, “Well, who the fuck are you!?” and then I looked around and said, “Wait… yeah, I might be in the wrong place.” And the guy goes, “Wait, no, I think I might be in the wrong place.”
www.overheardinathens.com
Girl: You know, you were in my dream last night.
Guy: Oh, really? What was happening?
Girl: Well, …you were trying to kill me.
Guy: Oh… that wasn't a dream.
Oviedo, Florida
Overheard by: Um…
Female office worker: Once I was at this club and there was a mirror across from me. Not only did I walk into it and break it accidentally, but before I did it, I remember looking at myself and saying, “Who is this bitch?” and then, crash. I talked shit about myself and then I broke the mirror.
Walnut Creek, California
Overheard by: trose
Girl to friends: I got locked out of my house for being a whore.
Girl's friends: Yay!
San Diego, California
Galveston woman: I swear, when I first met Sheila 20 years ago she looked middle-aged. She still looks middle-aged.
Guest from California: Maybe she discovered the fountain of middle age.
Galveston, Texas
Overheard by: Chas
Possibly gay barista: Caramel.
Trailer park barista: Car-mel.
Possibly gay barista: Car-a-mel.
Trailer park barista: That used to drive me nuts when I used to work here.
Robot Lodge, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Coffee Lurker
