Memory lane

Teacher: You know, when I was your age we didn't have classes like this. If you wanted to learn about personal finance, you got a job. If you wanted to learn about sex, you went to the bathroom.

Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri

Hipster girl #1: I got into Northeastern for grad school. I dunno what to do.
Hipster girl #2: Wow, that's really good! What a great school. Northwestern is like, famous.
Hipster girl #1: No, Northeastern.
Hipster girl #2: Oh. Is that a good school?
Hipster girl #1: Not really. But I figured if I put it small on my resume or say it fast, people will get confused. It clearly works!

30 Bus
San Francisco, California

50-something gentleman: Honey, the last time I ran was from a drag queen prostitute, and that was ten years ago. I don't run.

Valencia Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McN

Crazy homeless dude: One time this guy called the cops and said I was waiving a scalpel above my head. They put me in an institution for 72 hours. I kept trying to explain to them why I had the scalpel, and they just kept telling me I wasn't a doctor.

Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Brooke

Guy to date: She cheated on me, so I dumped her. Then I cheated on her and two weeks later we were back together.

Freehold, New Jersey

20-something girl (stocking groceries): Oh! I remember when my mom used to make it for me. It was delicious. She made it while I was pregnant… I'd eat it and every morning I'd throw it all back up. It was still delicious coming back up!

Norwalk, California

Overheard by: who wishes he hadn't heard it while grocery shopping

Guy: Remember “sweaty boobs”?
Girl: What?
Guy: Remember he broke up with her because she had sweaty boobs!

Porter Exchange
Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Dave

Hungover guy: Man, I got so fucked up last night. The last thing I remember was walking into the bathroom. And then this morning I woke up to the sound of someone yelling “Who the fuck are you?” So, naturally, I responded with, “Well, who the fuck are you!?” and then I looked around and said, “Wait… yeah, I might be in the wrong place.” And the guy goes, “Wait, no, I think I might be in the wrong place.”

www.overheardinathens.com

Girl: You know, you were in my dream last night.
Guy: Oh, really? What was happening?
Girl: Well, …you were trying to kill me.
Guy: Oh… that wasn't a dream.

Oviedo, Florida

Overheard by: Um…

Miss Narcissus Suffers from Low Self-Esteem

Female office worker: Once I was at this club and there was a mirror across from me. Not only did I walk into it and break it accidentally, but before I did it, I remember looking at myself and saying, “Who is this bitch?” and then, crash. I talked shit about myself and then I broke the mirror.

Walnut Creek, California

Overheard by: trose