Memory lane

Middle-aged black woman to husband: Baby, you remember that time I shot you?

CVS
Indianapolis, Indiana

Little girl to store employee: Do you remember us?
Employee: Yes, of course I do.
Little girl: Oh, no! Run away! He remembers us!

Mission Viejo Mall
Mission Viejo, California

(during a film in a movie theater)
Girl #1 (whispering): Ow, something's itching me–I think there's something in my bra. (gasps) Oh my god!
Girl #2: What is it!?
Girl #1: I just found a condom in my bra and I think it was from last night but I don't remember putting it there!

Ontario
Canadia

New York liberal Jewish humanities teacher: You don't have to be all “ma'am” and stuff around me.
Student: Ma'am, I was raised in the South, you have to expect some non-ironic chivalry, sorry.

Florida State, Tallahassee

Overheard by: Dr Steve Manly

Sorority girl: Oh, I forgot: while we were there we met this homeless guy! And then he showed us his house…which I guess was kind of weird.

Mt. Pinnacle
Little Rock, Arkansas

Overheard by: Climber

Six-year-old #1: Did you know that we’ve kissed before and we’re not even family?
Six-year-old #2: Yeah, in a hot tub!

Casselman
Ontario
Canadia

Girl, about test: Um, I got number 34 right and it's marked wrong!
Rest of class: Yeah.
Professor: I know. I already gave you all credit. Just ignore that, it must be some leftover meth use from my college years.

Auburn, Alabama

High CVS employee: Yeah, we went to museums and shit. Took pictures with naked men… and naked women. I mean, that's what you do when you're in chorus.

Garwood, New Jersey

Tattooed guy: I once tried to smoke Aloe vera.

Taste of India
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Young dude: Man, my jaw hurts.
Chick: Must have been all that sucking last night.
Young dude: Gotta be from something. Plus, I don't remember anything, so…

Quakertown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ken