Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: So, did you guys end up getting anywhere?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: No, I was thirteen!
Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: Yeah, but you didn’t do anything? Like, not even touch his dick?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: I don’t know, I was drunk!
Vincennes, Indiana
Overheard by: 202 Tavern Girl
20-something goth/thug girl: Remember the time I went to jail? I didn’t want to leave!
Denny’s
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: I didn’t want to be at dennys
(grandmother mumbles something unintelligible)
Young girl: Oh my god, grandma! I didn’t want to hear how grandpa was hung like a whale!
Longview, Washington
Overheard by: CaerBear
Loud guy on street corner: And over there is where I saw my first hooker!
Tremont and Boylston
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I heard him from -inside- a car
Girl to mother: You know, that’s why I’m so messed up. My main memories of church are smearing fake blood on a Ken doll for Cain killing Abel, with pigeons cooing at me; and dancing across the stage in a pink tutu for The Odyssey.
Aurora, Colorado
Lady professor: AU is so different, there are so many females here. When I was in college, my sophomore year it was a five to one ratio! Males to females! The men were hanging from the trees. You’d walk through campus, wary, and then you’d sit at the cafeteria table and look up from your breakfast and there would be five guys -just staring at you!
Justice Research Class, American University
Washington, D.C.
Pilot to passengers: Welcome to Hawaii! I’m going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.
Direct flight from Seattle, Washington to Oakland, California
Chick: So… You know when you were little and you used to leave beer and cookies for Santa?
Palo Alto High School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: the governor
Hipster chick: Did I ever tell you about my childhood Princess Leia obsession?
Hipster dude: No, you never told me about a Princess Leia thing. Oh, wait, maybe you did. Did it involve pastries on your head to simulate hair buns?
Hipster chick: No, that must have been another girlfriend.
Hipster dude: No! Or maybe the pastry buns was me. I repress so many memories.
Hipster chick: Probably smart.
Hipster dude: It’s working okay so far.
Hipster chick: Yeah. You barely need therapy.
15th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Kid in cafeteria: Yeah, that was the night we watched Shrek and made love for the first time.
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Cammie
