The Best Part Is, He's Recording His Voicemail Away Message.

20-something man on cell: I've got women. I started my own religion. I don't give a shit if hipsters don't think I'm cool. (pause) I know in my heart I'm a fucking genius. If I died tonight, there would be a massive white trash orgasm. (pause) If you're so bad, your soul goes into a wax museum. We should make our own rap music. We'll be so good they'll put us in a mausoleum, like Stalin.

Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on December 30, 2010
Bragging, Death & dying, Guys, Music, Oklahoma, Religion, Weather

Ooo, and He Could Design My Dress!

Girl #1, listening to John Denver: This is a great song. Especially if you're gay. You should have this at your wedding.
Girl #2: Well, if I marry a gay guy, it'll be great.

Phildelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 25, 2010
Fag hags, Family ties, Music, Pennsylvania, Relationships

…Brian.

Mother of musical theater fan: Oh, I didn't know Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote that. Well, maybe I did, but you weren't my daughter then.

Canadia

Posted on September 19, 2010
Age and ageing, Canadia, Family, Moms, Music, Parenting

Sesame Street Has, Like, Totally Opened My Eyes!

Clueless teen girl: I didn't know that New Mexico was a state, I thought it was a country!
Ditzy blonde: Ohmygod! No way!
Clueless teen girl: Yeah, I know! And did you know that “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and “The Alphabet Song” are the same?!
Ditzy blonde: No fucking way!

High School
Wisconsin

Overheard by: Genius

Posted on July 21, 2010
Geography, Girls, Music, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Teens, Wisconsin

Um, Vampire Style?

19-year-old girl #1: You know, I just a want a man I can sit naked with, watch Dead Poets Society, and then write a song about it afterwards.
19-year-old girl #2: Edward would totally do that for Bella.
19-year-old girl #3: You should leave Ryan.
19-year-old girl #2: Tell Ryan he can suck your dick.

Coffee Shop
Johannesburg
South Africa

Overheard by: Aeleron

Posted on July 16, 2010
Africa, Girls, Insults, Movies, Music, Stores, Wishes

Have You Seen His Hair?

Indignant little boy: Beethoven is not creepy!
Little girls, in unison: Yes he is!

Melrose, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on April 3, 2010
Insults, Kids, Massachusetts, Music

Or There'll Be No Peace When You Are Done

Girl #1: I have cows in my head!
Boy: What?
Girl #1: We're playing “Carry on Wayward Son” in orchestra. C-o-w-s.
Boy: Oh.
Girl #2: You really need to tell people that before you tell them you have cows in your head.

St. Joseph High School
Michigan

Posted on February 25, 2010
Animals, Girls, Guys, Michigan, Music, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Weirdness, Words

Why the Fairy Always Dies When His Mom Reads Him Peter Pan

Ten-year-old boy: Dad, why are people clapping?
Father: Because the conductor entered the stage. It's respectful.
Ten-year-old boy: I personally don't believe in clapping for someone unless they've done something.

Tanglewood Music Center
Lenox, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Bystander girl