Names

Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)

Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: arrc

Older woman, speaking fondly of her husband: I just want to go home and be with my Dick.

Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: just me

Six-year-old boy to brother: You know who'll save you? Abraham Lincoln. Too bad he's dead now. He'll rise from the dead! And raise chickens! His chicken powers can't save you now!

Baltimore, Maryland

Random guy: It's like I'm on the Pony Express or something…and I'm the pony!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Professor: Let's move on…let's talk about Puerto Ricans in New York. And crack. And race. Well, let's start with Obama.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

Overheard by: lovecollege

20-something girl to gay male friend: It really creeps me out when you call me “grandma” when we do drugs together.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: MuffinW

Girl: At first, I was really afraid he was cheating on me, but then I called him the next day and asked him where he was the night before…
Girl's friend: Well, where was he?
Girl: Oh, he was having drinks with John Lennon. I was freaking out for no reason!

New York

Tourist mom: What would Carol think of all this?
Seven-year old son: Her name is Coral, and I told you we broke up!

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Student to friend: Of course meat and veggies on a plate aren't supposed to touch each other! If they were then they'd be called… Uh… Uh… Starsky and Hutch!

Hillerød
Denmark

Overheard by: ?

Woman, urinating and talking to friend in next stall: I was holding my piss in for so long, my Kegel muscles could choke a chicken!

Memorial Hall
Monson, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah