French metrosexual, holding up iPhone: It's from Madame Butterfly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the American movie of it. With that one homosexual actor. Robbie… Robin…
British dinner guest: Robbie Williams?
American dinner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he's not gay…
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British dinner guest: That was Mrs Doubtfire.
American dinner guest: It's called Papillon in the US.
French metrosexual: What?
France
Professor on first day of class: Hi, my name is Jerry Anderson*. You can call me Jerry, you can call me Anderson… You might want to call me Bastard Ass-fucker, but I’d prefer if you kept that to yourself.
University of Alabama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Bored school nurse: Valerie, do you remember the name of the little girl who ate the glowstick last week?
Elementary School
Utah
Elderly woman on cell: Hello? What? How many goats? Give it to Nancy*. Just leave it on her porch. It's just one and I don't want it. (long pause) Put it there and ring the doorbell. I don't care how you do it, I'm on vacation, don't bother me. (hangs up phone)
Louis Armstrong International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: T Perk
Professor: Well, I'm not supposed to state my own political views. (pause) Ah, to hell with it, I'm just going to say it: Sarah Palin is a complete fucking disaster!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Teen girl, incredulously: But you don't call a fattie “fat”!
Teen guy: I know!
Australia
Overheard by: PCGoneWrong
20-something fashionista: Oh, the Spice Girls like totally changed my life!
Beverly Center
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Shabunapoodle
Sad suit: I got my blackberry wet last night, and now it randomly calls rabbi Goldstein.
Los Angeles, California
Girl #1: So, I walk into my Econ class, and Katie’s there.
Girl #2: Who?
Girl #1: Awkward Katie.
Girl #2: Crazy Katie?
Girl #1: Naked Katie.
Girl #2: Ohhh! There are way too many Katies. You could have just said ‘Naked Katie’ and I would have known what you were talking about.
Delaware, Ohio
Overheard by: None-of-the-above Katie
Thug #1: Everybody calls that girl “Orangutan titties.”
Thug #2: What? Why?
Thug #1: She's the one that flashed everybody back in freshman year at that one assembly, and her titties be all pointy and shit.
Thug #2: I remember that shit, that was pretty fuckin' funny.
Thug #3 (after a long pause): Man, orangutans are fuckin' weird.
Thug #1: Yeah, monkeys be fucked up.
MDN High School, Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: I saw this whole assembly thing, too.
