Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.
Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California
Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.
Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California
Boyfriend: I couldn't get a new movie. The good ones were all out. I got this other one, though. The guy told me it was really good.
Girlfriend: What's the name of it?
Boyfriend: Just Cuz!
Girlfriend, looking at jacket: You mean Just Cause?
Norwich, Connecticut
Defense lawyer, teaching trial advocacy: But remember that in real life, nobody charged with marijuana possession is actually going to go to trial.
Law student: Last summer when I was working at the legal clinic I had a client who was charged with possession go to trial!
Defense lawyer: What? In fifteen years of practice, I've never seen it go to trial.
Law student: Yeah, the prosecutor was being a dick about it too–he wanted jail time.
Defense lawyer: Who was the prosecutor? Tell me his name, I'll tell you if I ever got high with him.
Law School
Canadia
Overheard by: Law student
Little girl reading plastic bag: “Value village.” Value village? Do you know what that is?
Mother: It's a store.
Little girl: It just makes me so happy.
Toronto
Canadia
Girl #1: Well, you know she gave that guy a blow job when three other people were in the room. Someone was bound to find out.
Girl #2: I’ve never even done it in front of people.
Girl #1: Me either, I’m not that slutty.
Younger girl with them: Oh, guess just me then?
Girl #1: You gave someone a blowjob with people watching?!
Younger girl: Uh, yeah. Back when I was 15 and drunk.
Girl #1: I’m your aunt: should you really have told me that, McSlutty?
Park
San Diego, California
Buff Asian kid, squinting at label on microscope: Made in… Douche-land? What the fuck is douche-land?
Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California
Guy: Yeah, it’s like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it’s called, like… Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don’t even have those in Boston.
Diner
St. Louis, Missouri
Dude to chick: William Howard Taft. That's what I call my penis. Because he is large and in charge. And he got stuck in a bathtub.
High School Law Class
New York
Overheard by: Adrienne
French metrosexual, holding up iPhone: It's from Madame Butterfly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the American movie of it. With that one homosexual actor. Robbie… Robin…
British dinner guest: Robbie Williams?
American dinner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he's not gay…
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British dinner guest: That was Mrs Doubtfire.
American dinner guest: It's called Papillon in the US.
French metrosexual: What?
France
Professor on first day of class: Hi, my name is Jerry Anderson*. You can call me Jerry, you can call me Anderson… You might want to call me Bastard Ass-fucker, but I’d prefer if you kept that to yourself.
University of Alabama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
