They'll Tell Us What to Do

Teen, hearing that IBM computer “Watson” is winning at Jeopardy: That makes me so happy! We have robot overlords!

Ithaca, New York

Posted on June 5, 2020
Feelings, New York, Technology, Teens, Weirdness

At the Hermaphroditic Contortionist Children's Support Group

Five-year-old girl, pointing at store window: Balls!
Young mom: That's right honey, those are balls, but you ate your balls, huh?
Five-year-old girl: I ate my balls!

Buffalo, New York

Posted on May 23, 2020
Balls, Food, Kids, Moms, New York, Parenting, Shopping

I've Been Wearing These Same Sweatpants Since 1997

Chick: I don't care about what anyone else does. I barely care about what I do.

Fleetwood, New York

Overheard by: Deek

Posted on April 9, 2020
Character, Chicks, New York, Weirdness

…Thanks to All That Community Fingering at the Lakes.

Guy #1: So what I'm not clear on is how the penis and vagina work.
Guy #2: Well, how are you doing on STDs?
Guy #1: I'm still a little unsure about some, but I have syphilis down pat!

Finger Lakes Community College
New York

Posted on March 30, 2020
Body parts, Guys, New York, Questions, STDs, Stupidity

Oh, in That Case I’d Be a Cheetah

Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night — I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you’re high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don’t like birds.
Guy #3: I’d be a pterodactyl, dude.

Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

Posted on March 23, 2020
Birds, Colleges & Universities, Frat boy types, New York, Questions

Like God, If They Didn't Exist, TV Would Have to Invent Them

Young film intern asked to come up with new story: What about a girl surrounded by her sassy, lesbian friends? Do lesbians come in sassy?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: I honestly don't know

Posted on March 20, 2020
Employees, Movies, New York, Questions, Sexuality

And Get That Hannah Montana Ringtone I've Been Wanting

Hipster boy: So, are you doing that post-bac pre-med thing?
Hipster girl: I dunno…I don't really know what I wanna do.
Hipster boy: Really, you don't wanna do medicine anymore?
Hipster girl: I dunno, I wish I could like, win the lottery. Then I'd go to like, Ghana, and just save people.

NYU Elevator

Posted on February 21, 2020
Default, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Jobs & Careers, Money, New York, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Wishes

And They're the Only Place You Have Any Fat

Obviously skinny girl: Do you think I should get lipo?
Friend: No! There's nothing wrong with your boobs.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: wow!!

Posted on February 20, 2020
Body parts, Compliments, Default, Friends, Girls, Health & Hygiene, New York, Questions, Skinny people

You Must Be Gay, Then

Boy: So, do you have a boyfriend?
Cute, chubby girl, with suspicion: No…
Boy: Can I get your number?
Girl: No.
Boy: Why?
Girl: I'm gay.
Boy: Oh… Really?
Girl: No. Sorry. Creeper reflex.
Boy: So you wanna go out?
Girl: No.

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Posted on February 13, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Bonding, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Lies, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality

Sarah Really Knows How to Push Her Own Buttons.

Self-centered bimbo to another: I love texting myself, but I told myself: “let me see if I can hold off doing that til Sunday, to see if I can live alone.”

Mamaroneck, New York

Posted on January 24, 2020
Advice, Bimbettes, New York, Stupidity, Technology