Pee

Teen girl: Yeah… But, I mean, he peed on her! He lifted up his skirt and peed on her!

Hinsdale Central High School
Hinsdale, Illinois

Overheard by: Christina Newkirk

Teen girl in bathroom #1: I'd hate to be a guy and have to use a urinal.
Teen girl in bathroom #2: Oh yeah, that thing looks unsanitary.
Teen girl in bathroom #1: Not even that, but like if you had to go poop then everyone would know it.
Teen girl in bathroom #3: You can't poop in a urinal?

High School
Coral Springs, Florida

Dad, changing son's diaper: Why don't you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?

New Jersey

Girl: I hated him so much I pissed in his bed.
Guy: What happens if you really like them?

Lincoln Park, Illinois

Overheard by: olly

Philosophy professor: After all, is it okay to go pee out in the open in a public place like a park?
Girl: Wait, well… Like, when?

Boston College
Massachusetts

Chick #1: I’m telling her the dumpling story.
Chick #2: Which story? Oh, the one about how people get off on being peed on?
Chick #1: What?!

Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Ladle

College girl to her family: … And this is where I peed last night!
Security guard: [Applauds.]College girl: You think he heard me?

French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Security Guard

Chick: The peeing politician doesn't float my boat.

Michigan

Overheard by: Meister E

Girl: I almost failed my drug test because I couldn't pee in front of the lady. I guess I can never go to prison.

Chico, California

Overheard by: KJ

Very loud drunk guy, standing at a urinal while he tries to open his zipper: How the fuck do they do this?

Las Vegas, Nevada