Not in This Relationship

Girl running up stairs: I ran three miles yesterday!
Boy out of breath: I’m wearing pants.

Boyertown High School, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 28, 2018
Clothes, Default, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania

That Damn Third Commandment Always Trips Me Up

Good Catholic schoolboy to friend who just recited a really long prayer: Good job! You only missed one word. This one can be really hard and you almost got it perfect.
Bad Catholic schoolboy: God dammit! Jesus Christ, I'm never gonna get this bullshit memorized!

Goretti-Neumann High
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: lora

Posted on June 19, 2018
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Education, Etiquette, Friends, Guys, Insults, Pennsylvania, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens, Words

We Heart Zippy Unironically

Teen prep: Shell is a lot more expensive than GetGo these days. (later) I'm missing a lifetime movie right now!
Father: She's like Zippy the Pinhead!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Shoppy

Posted on April 28, 2018
Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Guys, Money, Names, Pennsylvania, Pop culture, Students

It's 2:58 — Give Him a Little Credit.

Girl on cell in empty hall: So how long do you want to have sex with your boyfriend? Until, like 3:00?

Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 24, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Girls, Infidelity, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sex, Time Management

The Gerbil Was Menstruating!

Sorority girl: Well, yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have a tampon in your butt.

Dickinson College
Carlisle, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 11, 2018
Ass, Colleges & Universities, Comebacks, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Sexuality, Sorority types

I've Mastered “Fabulous,” But I'm Still Working on Three Snaps in Z-Formation

Construction worker #1: So, Lou, how's that gay thing going for you?
Construction worker #2: Goin' pretty good, Al, goin pretty good.

West Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: keeeeem

Posted on March 22, 2018
Construction workers, Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sexuality

Then I Sniff It and I'm Like, “Ooo, Beer!”

Tiny pregnant girl to friend: He has this mattress that has pee stains all over it, and he keeps blaming it on the dog! I'm like, “yeah, right!”

Target
York, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 21, 2018
Animals, Girls, Gossip, Pee, Pennsylvania, Preggers, Stores

Shouldn't There Be an IQ Prerequisite?

Woman: So when are you guys riding?
Man #1: Three weekends from now, or maybe a month…
Woman: Isn't it too cold outside to ride motorcycles?
Man #2: Not if you're drunk!

Downingtown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Crys

Posted on March 18, 2018
Default, Drinking & drunks, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stupidity, Time Management, Weather, Women

I Knew Those DJ Lessons Were a Poor Idea

White father: There’s Burger King, Subway, Taco Bell.
Six-year-old son: [no response].
White father: There’s sushi.
Six-year-old son: Aw shizzle!

Food Court, King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Carrie

Posted on March 11, 2018
Compare and contrast, Dads, Food, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Whiteys

Reruns Of House Count As “Research,” Right?

Drunk girl: I teach! I teach AP bio kids. They ask so many smart questions. (thoughtful pause) I make things up all the time.
Friend: You make things up??
Drunk girl: I just say “according to my research.” (shrugs, laughs hysterically)

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on February 26, 2018
Bragging, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Education, Girls, Pennsylvania, Questions