Hobo, sitting next to guys on bench: And then my guys, damn birds! (mutters incoherently) Everywhere! Fucking pigeons! They eat and shit and live and shit. (mutters incoherently) Cats, and mind control, that's what we need…
(hobo gets up and rolls down the street)
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: I think he's my hero.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Karen
Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? “I'm the best even though I'm fat”?
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
30-ish black woman, emphatically to self: Damn! Life ain’t nothin’ like I ever seen before.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!
Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Pretty sure she’s been to the theater before
Guy #1: Yo, dawg, you got herpes. You got herpes, dawg!
Guy #2: Well, you got HIV!
Guy #1: Herpes is worse, dawg!
Guy #2: No, it ain't!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Teen girl #1: God! Don’t they have pedestrian laws in Pennsylvania?
Teen girl #2: Wait, we’re in Pennsylvania?
Independence Hall
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Allison
English teacher, reading Hamlet: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.
Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Pale girl: Sure, I'll go tanning with you. How much is it?
Dark girl: For the baby bed, only $7.
Pale girl: The baby bed? What's the baby bed?
Dark girl: What you need to do, girl!
Pale girl: Yeah, but do they, like… Put babies in it?
Drexel University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I wouldn't know either….
Man on cell: I just need to know that he didn’t cum in your mouth!
South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amelia
