Is That Even Possible?

Jersey Shore fan: Can you put on Jersey Shore? It's the reunion!
Bartender: Sure, I was kind of hoping someone would ask.
Female drinker: Wow, I am going to watch this dumbass show in a bar, is this happening?
Jersey Shore fan: You love it, don't try to lie cause your boys are here.
Bartender: These people are crazy, and that's why we watch.
Bar patron: I cant believe I am watching the reunion show without having seen a full episode. You are right: I cant stop watching this. What the fuck? Is her name J-Lo?
Jersey Shore fan: J… Wow! She is awesome, snookie is my favorite. I wish I could be friends with her.
Bartender: You have enough slutty friends.

Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Earnie Hustleton

Posted on February 16, 2016
Baristas, Bars & Clubs, Drunks, Insults, Pennsylvania, Sexuality, TV shows, Wishes

The Americans with Disabilities Act Says They Are Hot

Scholar: Handicapped people would be hot if they could, like, use their legs and stuff.

Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on January 23, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Idiots, Pennsylvania, Philosophy

e e cummings Would Go on to Fame and Fortune

Hobo, sitting next to guys on bench: And then my guys, damn birds! (mutters incoherently) Everywhere! Fucking pigeons! They eat and shit and live and shit. (mutters incoherently) Cats, and mind control, that's what we need…
(hobo gets up and rolls down the street)
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: I think he's my hero.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on January 20, 2016
Birds, Crazies, Default, Gripes, Guys, Hobos, Mental illnesses, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

So You're Much Rounder

20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Karen

Posted on December 19, 2015
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Pennsylvania

Just When You Thought Comic Book Guy Didn't Exist in Real Life…

Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? “I'm the best even though I'm fat”?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 17, 2015
Beauty, Character, Girls, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sexuality

And You Wouldn’t Believe Some of the Shit I Saw in the Womb

30-ish black woman, emphatically to self: Damn! Life ain’t nothin’ like I ever seen before.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 11, 2015
Black people, Default, Gripes, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Women

I’ll Not Be Upstaged by a Rabbit

Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!

Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Pretty sure she’s been to the theater before

Posted on December 10, 2015
Advice, Glad the condom broke, Pennsylvania, Toys

Who Says Today's Young Men Aren't Philosophers?

Guy #1: Yo, dawg, you got herpes. You got herpes, dawg!
Guy #2: Well, you got HIV!
Guy #1: Herpes is worse, dawg!
Guy #2: No, it ain't!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 9, 2015
Guys, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, STDs

Where’s Dracula?

Teen girl #1: God! Don’t they have pedestrian laws in Pennsylvania?
Teen girl #2: Wait, we’re in Pennsylvania?

Independence Hall
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Allison

Posted on December 7, 2015
Pennsylvania, Questions, Teens

Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil

English teacher, reading Hamlet: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.

Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alyssa

Posted on November 27, 2015
Books, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Education, Frat boy types, Murder, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers, Zombies