Greasy old man to wheelchair-ridden woman: And then it drips out of my rectum…
Westchester Airport
New York
Little girl: Is there diarrhea here? I love diarrhea!
Mother: I have no idea what you're talking about, but it doesn't sound good, so stop it.
Target
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Amused Employee
Three-year-old boy yelling at goats: Stop pooping! No more pooping! I said no more pooping!
Mom: Stop yelling at the livestock.
Petting zoo
Long Island, New York
Girl to friend eating yogurt: You know, yogurt makes you shit.
Friend, frightened: Does it, really?
Girl: I dare you to take the Activia challenge.
Friend: Nah! I'm not in the mood to poop today.
Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: i laughed at this
Girl: And then he asked if I had dingleberries, and I was like, “no,” and then I said “but my cat does.”
UMASS
Massachusetts
Man: All cocaine really does is make you want more of it.
Woman: Not necessarily. If that were true, what's to stop people from snorting dog shit?
Man: That rule doesn't apply to dog shit. If you snort dog shit, you will definitely never, ever, want to snort it again.
Oakland, California
Mom to four-year-old's horrified babysitter: Poop is not play-doh. That's the lesson we learned today.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
College boy #1: If I were a T-Rex I would fuck shit up.
College boy #2: Yeah, but good luck masturbating.
Hendrix College
Arkansas
Overheard by: College Girl Walking By
Girlfriend to boyfriend: So should I stop peeing in front of you ?
Boyfriend to girlfriend: No, I don't mind. I don't care…just don't let me see you poop, that's just too fucking weird.
Michigan
Overheard by: da da
